Category: Relationship

Gaslighting is a behavior that happens with people that are in a relationship. You can decide to leave this kind of relationship that is toxic because it is a kind of emotional abuse that people don’t often admit to. You aren’t hopeless in this situation.

You can find out if your partner will stop gaslighting you or if they will continue to destroy the relationship by trying to stay in control and have power over you. This is something that most people outside of the relationship can spot, even if you cannot. You will see that when you deal with someone that has a narcissistic personality that you can successfully leave them.

Of course, this article isn’t for you if you are being physically abused or if some kind of abuse is going on with your children. No one has the right to touch you or harm you or your family and if this is happening then you should find help right away.

Gaslighting

People can be gaslighters and it doesn’t have to be someone that you are romantic with. This can be a friend, a boss, a parent, or someone else that you know. A gaslighter can be a male or female but for the purposes of reading this article, the gaslighter will be referred to as a male and the gaslightee as the female.

This is also talking about adults that are in this kind of relationship. This is the type of relationship that is toxic and that has to have two people in it. If you have been someone that has dealt with gaslighting before, you will often feel like a victim. You might even wonder if you believe anything that you are even thinking or saying.

Gaslighting doesn’t just happen one way, when you allow this to happen in your relationship then you are telling your gaslighter that their behavior is okay.

Signs of Gaslighting

Gaslighting is something that people will use to have power in the relationship. They will do what they can to make you question if you are crazy or if you even know anything. This will cause the gaslightee to wonder if she can trust herself or even her partner.

Chances are, the gaslightee will try to get the gaslighter to see them differently but he won’t. He will make sure to make her miserable and to make her question herself over and over. She will probably be crazy about him but he will do whatever he can to make her feel bad while she is trying to get his approval.

The gaslighter will be someone that has no real sense of self and someone that sends judgements and hate into the world.

How is Gaslighting a Two-Way Street?

We live in a world where people don’t often want to tell the truth. People either don’t want to tell the truth or they are so afraid of offending someone that they refuse to admit when something is wrong. If you feel that you have found the love of your life and you’re madly in love with them, you want them to approve of you and you even look at them as a god, chances are this should be someone that you love and trust.

The truth is that you have probably been love-bombed by this person.

This relationship might have started when things were hard in your life. Maybe you have been dealing with childhood trauma and this person made you feel excited and made you feel loved. The sex might have been good and maybe even your approval was given…at first.

We can all tell when gaslighting comes when there are insults or threats but when it comes subtle, it can be hard to decipher.

When He Was Nice

You can find someone that has been a nice gaslighter. You wonder why you are feeling numb and sad all the time. He helps around the house and with the children and tells you that he loves you but you never feel that he is being honest or that he is appreciating you. You feel like he is being bossy and that he is looking at you like you aren’t good enough.

If you talk about his behavior then chances are he will tell you that you are needy or that you are someone that is controlling. He might not make you feel special and even if he gives you things like gifts or dinner, you still feel that he doesn’t care about you.

This guy might be someone that is a spiritual leader or someone that is an activist, and he believes that he is being fair, or he makes you feel that way. He goes out of his way to be overly nice because he wants you to feel like you are in the perfect relationship.

When you argue, he will let you win but you never feel respected. You will feel that you have concerns, and no one will care about it. You don’t know why you feel this way because even though he does things for you, you always feel that you owe him something. You wonder why you aren’t thankful for him, but you feel disrespected instead.

You love him and you ignore the way that he makes you feel and when you feel that you have no peace or no power, you feel like you are the wrong one. You realize that everyone likes him, and you cannot figure out why.

Romantic Gaslighter

You feel in love with the person that you thought was your soulmate. He is someone that you have always dreamed of, and you felt that from moment one that he was perfect. He would bring you flowers, apologize when he was late, kiss you like you wanted to be kissed and he would make you laugh.

Then out of nowhere, he started using drugs or drinking, he would get upset when you would complain. He would think you were unreasonable and then tell you to move on. But then he would buy you things that made you feel important and even when you had sex you would feel that it was a show. He would criticize you after doing something nice or tell you he didn’t want to have sex with you.

He takes away your sex and makes you feel alone. You know something is wrong and even though at first it seemed amazing, it gets worse by the day. You keep telling yourself that no one is perfect but you realize that he doesn’t want to please you and you wonder how you can fix yourself.

Are You Someone Easy to Gaslight?

People that have low self-esteem or don’t feel that they have any self-worth will not feel that they are good enough unless someone else loves them. This makes it easy for them to be gaslit.

A person that is a gaslighter will take all of the doubts that you have about yourself and will learn to use them against you. Even though it is never easy to build trust in yourself, you have to try and do this. You have to understand that even if gaslighting is normal to you, it is not healthy or good for you to have happening to you.

If you happen to have children with someone with this personality, chances are you will stay with them because it can be hard to support yourself and to take care of your family alone.

A gaslighter will be someone that will insult you, fight with you and do whatever they can to make you think they will leave, even though they won’t.

Stop Buying into It

A person that refuses to buy into the nonsense of a gaslighter will learn to stand up for themselves. They will learn that the gaslighter makes things up and once you learn to trust yourself enough to know that your own reality is real, you can see the relationship for what it is. If you are someone that has had to deal with a gaslighter as a child, remember that was then and now you don’t have to accept it.

Stop the Gaslighting

The only way that you can really stop a gaslighter is by leaving them. Don’t just threaten to leave but be willing to leave. By doing this, you will see that this is the only thing that will help you and will stop them from treating you this way.

You may wonder if the gaslighter is going to change and maybe they will try to change but until they admit that they have a problem, this will never happen. Once the gaslighter admits that he has a problem, then you can get couples therapy that might help. Being aware of this behavior may help to bring about change. Always get the support you need to get away from this person.

Listen for the Whispers

When people notice something, they begin to whisper about things. If you hear people whispering, they might be talking about what they are noticing such as:

• Feeling confused often.
• When you are trying to convince people how good of a partner he is.
• When friends or family start talking about being concerned about the relationship.
• If your stomach drops or you feel your chest getting tight.

Who is He Changing For?

Is he changing for you or for himself? This can be hard to see and to know for sure. But the best way to find out is to ask him to stop giving you things, asking for sex and doing nice things and see what happens next.

Does he seem hurt by your request or does he take time to find out what your needs are?

Figuring Out the Problems

Make yourself two lists, the first list should be “what does he do to gaslight me,” and the second list, “what do I do as a gaslightee.” Here are some things to ask:

• Find out the truth: Do you accept things in your relationship that aren’t true? Do you doubt who you are and what you want?
• Is there a power struggle between what you feel and what is reality?
• Focusing on your feelings instead of what is right or what is wrong. When you feel like you are being attacked, stop accept it.
• Figure out a way to exit the situation such as walking away or changing the subject.
• Know everyone can have their own opinions: He can have an opinion, but you don’t have to accept it. You don’t have to accept any abuse or attacks.
• Be confident in who you are: Accept that he is gaslighting you and that the views his decisions as right.

Even though your gaslighter might change, you have to figure out what you agree with and what you don’t. You don’t have to let him belittle you or treat you poorly.

Staying or Leaving

Give yourself time to decide what you want to do. Once you realize that you don’t want to accept his abuse anymore, leave. Give yourself a time limit to put up with it and to see if he is going to change or not and then if he doesn’t, leave him.

If you choose to not accept it and he changes his behavior, this is a good sign but if he doesn’t then chances are he isn’t going to change and he will continue to live in his own world. Learn to live with your head held high and demanding the respect that you deserve.

You know the feeling well. You see a girl and seemingly fall in love, or at least heavy-like, instantly. She could be your dream girl. After a few days of pondering the idea and maybe talking to a few friends, you decide to ask her out.

Then, she says no. It’s a crash and burn.

At this point, many questions are going through your head and you need to process her rejection. How you process it determines what you should do next. For some, no just means not right now. Girls, and women, are also prone to change their minds once they find out more about you.

What Did She Say?

Most women will give you some sort of answer with the rejection. They do this to let you know if you stand a chance or not, although some give excuses just to be polite even when they aren’t interested.

Standard answers are “I already have a date,” “I’m busy that night,” and “I have plans.” All of those are nice ways of saying they aren’t interested. A girl who isn’t interested but just busy will follow up their excuse with “but I have next Saturday free” or “maybe some other time.”

Other responses could be things like “I don’t think it would work out between us,” “I’m sorry, I’m not interested,” or even the high school cackle of “really? why would I go out with you?”

While some of these are blunt, even rude, the girl who says these things wants to make it clear she is not interested.

Even beyond that, there could be an underlying reason for her rejection and it has nothing to do with you or your worthiness.

It’s a bad time.

Some people have bad days and this could affect their answers. A girl who was just embarrassed in a class by a teacher or professor, had a fight with her parents, or a career girl with an impossible schedule could react rudely.

She’s in a relationship.

Some guys mistake chemistry for an invitation to ask a girl out. Girls may unknowingly produce vibes even when they are in another relationship or you could have misread them. Maybe she asked for help from you and you took that wrongly. In any case, she’s unavailable at the moment.

She’s shy.

Some girls, and even women, are unconfident or shy so they say no. Some, especially those who have been hurt before, question the motives of any guy asking them out so they say no.

She’s not over her last boyfriend.

Girls take a while to get over a breakup and won’t date right away. They need time to process what went wrong, whether they are to blame and to build up their confidence again. The good news is most will tell you they aren’t ready when you ask them out so you can try again later.

She doesn’t want to date now.

Some women and girls decide to take a break from dating at times. It could be they want to reset their priorities, focus on their studies or career, or maybe they are just tired of the whole dating scene. There are times when women want to focus on themselves and deal with their issues and dating isn’t a part of that.

They want friendship.

Guys hate the friend zone but some fall into it anyway. There are just some guys that girls will love dearly as a friend but nothing more. This could be the case if you have been close to her for some time without going out.

She’s just not into you.

Girls typically won’t go out with a guy they feel they have no chemistry with. They have an image of the “perfect guy” in their head and you just aren’t it. This can change, so be around but not hovering.

How to Handle the Situation

You don’t understand her rejection and your pride is hurt. Accept that. Rejection hurts. However, it doesn’t make you any less worthy of her or anyone else. You are a good person and are lovable. It just might not be her.

Don’t dwell on her answer. If you have questions, ask them while she is rejecting you not after you walk away. For instance, if she says “You’re just not my type,” ask her what her type is. When she answers, just say “good to know” and walk away.

Don’t stalk her, talk about her with friends, or continue to try to convince her to go out. That makes you look desperate and even creepy. Maintain your current place in her life, whatever that is, and don’t seek more.

Move on with your life while you wait out the situation to see if she and her boyfriend break up, her feelings change, or the situation changes. Go out with your friends. Even go out with other people. Live your life.

Here’s a secret about girls and women. They like what they can’t have. Even those who told you they weren’t interested in you will take second notice when they see that you aren’t pining for them.

There’s another tip that guys should know. Women and girls are drawn to confidence more than anything else. Moving on while keeping the door open shows confidence and they will start paying attention. That will help you later on when you may want to try to ask them out again.

Just make sure it’s not too soon. Let her simmer for a while. She may need time to get her own life in order or get out of a relationship. Maintain your cool until then. Be nice and friendly but not desperate.

Something to remember is there are lots of girls out there. She isn’t the only one, even though you may think that she is right now. Even if it doesn’t ever work out with this girl, it will work out with someone. Just give it time.

When you talk about a serious relationship, most people know what this means. It means no more dating here and there and becoming more serious. If you are wanting to have a serious relationship, this can be one that is challenging and has many highs and lows.

When understanding a serious relationship, this means that you are fully committed to your partner and that you do not lie or betray them. You put the love that you have for your partner first and you decide you are going to stay together forever. This means that you are no longer in the honeymoon phase and that you know exactly what you are in for.

Relationships that go past the honeymoon stage are ones that are much stronger and more stable than others. This means you are able to grow together and to love each other in a bigger way.

Making the Relationship Serious

You need to make sure that you are learning as you grow in your relationship. This doesn’t mean you just go from dating to committed but there are things you need to understand such as:

• You and your partner need to be committed and ready. This means you have to discuss this and make sure you are both on the same page.
• You choose to be with just each other. Being serious means, you are not going out to find someone to sleep with and you are together with just each other.
• You work and grow together. This means that when there are problems, you work through them, and you deal with them.
• You both have to show that there is more than care in the relationship. You have to show who you are and show even the bad things about yourself. We all have flaws, but they need to come out.
• Both of you have to be open to your emotions and you have to learn to communicate and listen to each other. You cannot hide things and you must learn to be vulnerable around one another.
• Trust is the utmost importance. You have to trust each other when in the home or out of the home.

When to Know the Relationship is Serious

You can know that the relationship is serious when there is more than just infatuation. When you have built a foundation that brings peace and happiness, this can mean your relationship is more serious. Here are some ways to know:

• Your partner becomes another part of you. This means that they know what you are going to say and what you feel. They are always there for you no matter what. You don’t even think of them as a boyfriend or girlfriend but as someone you have to have with you and that you love, someone you can always believe in. You will feel like you can’t live without them.
• You and your partner will be telepathic. This means you will know what the other is going to say and you will finish each other’s sentences. You might not know what to make for dinner, but your partner and you will say at the same time the perfect choice. You are connected in an emotional and spiritual way.
• You both will miss each other when you aren’t together. Even though you will both need space, when the space is there, you will miss each other the whole time. You will want to tell your partner everything and you will love to share every part of your life.
• Your partner and you will be comfortable around each other. You will feel good in your joggers and in your dress. You will be great naked and when you are on the toilet. No matter what, you will feel comfortable and will not worry about what they think about you.
• This is the part of the relationship where you and your partner become family. You welcome their family into your life, and they welcome yours. You go to dinners together and you talk to each other’s parents like you have known them forever. You stay at each other’s homes, and you even keep your toothbrush there.
• Even if you argue, it isn’t about drama. You learn to argue but come to a conclusion about what is going on. You face conflicts head on and you deal with them.

Relationship VS Serious Relationship

A relationship just means that there is someone new in your life and you enjoy being around them. This can be during the honeymoon period where you are getting to know each other. Chances are you will lust for this new person, and you will love to be together.

But, when the relationship begins to get serious, you will be comfortable just hanging out in your pajamas or you will want to stay in with them just to read a book. There will be times where you are around each other but you aren’t even saying anything. This is a time when the relationship becomes exclusive, and you are only about each other.

Things to Ask Before Committing

Here are some things you need to ask yourself before you make a commitment:

• Do I see myself with this person in the future?
• Is family or my job more important?
• What does my financial situation look like?
• Is my relationship important?
• Who are the people that are most important to me?
• Do I want to have kids someday?
• Do I like being with my family?
• Am I satisfied with my sex life?
• Do I trust my partner fully?
• Do I believe in gender roles?
• Do I value time with my partner and time alone?
• What do I believe about infidelity?
• Is flirting cheating?
• What do I like most about my partner?
• Are me and my partner soulmates?
• Who should make the most serious decisions?
• Do I need boundaries in my relationship?
• Would my partner give up things for me?
• What makes me aggravated in my relationship?

Final Thoughts

Maybe you are in a serious relationship and maybe you are thinking about getting into one. Make sure that you are really in love and that you share things like common goals and values. When you are ready to move to the serious side, remember that the honeymoon phase is different than real life. A serious relationship will always be a winning relationship.

You can know if someone is thinking of you and likes you. There are things that the universe will show you that will help you to know if someone is thinking about you such as you might start sneezing a lot or you might hiccup, or your emotions might change out of nowhere.

Maybe you just had a thought that something was going to happen or that someone was thinking about you because you can almost read their mind. You may even be connected to someone so deeply that you feel like you read their mind and you say things at the same time or sing the same songs.

Things like this might happen to you often and it is one way that you can know that you have such a deep connection that you know someone is thinking about you. Sometimes people share a telepathic connection, and this is a bond that people cannot see but you can definitely feel it.

When Someone Thinks of You

You can feel when someone is thinking about you because of the vibes that they send out to the universe. These vibrations will come to you, and they will change how you are feeling for no real explained reason. When you feel sad or angry and out of nowhere you become happy, chances are someone is thinking of you.

You have interactions with people beyond just the physical and there is an energy that you can share with others so that you can know when they are thinking of you. This is part of what your subconscious mind does.

You can pick up the vibes that other people send out in your subconscious mind. It might be hard to explain but even if you cannot explain it, it is real.

No matter what kind of signals that you pick up from other people, these things are vibes that you might not really understand or be aware of.

Look at things from a different viewpoint. Have you ever felt like you were getting sick, and you give into it and imagine yourself being sick and then you actually get sick. This happens because you already gave into the sickness and your subconscious mind controlled how you felt.

When you get these signals that you cannot touch and you allow them to come to you, they will eventually take a physical form in your life.

The same type of situation can happen when someone has you in their thoughts. You will be able to know these thoughts and to feel them because of your subconscious thinking.

These thoughts can turn into vibes, and they will come to you in a physical way when someone thinks about you.

How to Know if Someone Thinks Sexually Towards You

You can tell that someone is thinking sexually towards you because of their sexual energy. This will show through their body language and their thoughts, and their mannerisms will come towards you. Even if you live far away, it will be like you run into them out of nowhere and for no real reason.

This can happen over and over again and then you will see that you are bumping into the same person over and over. The odds of that are low but it is still happening, even if they live far away from you. The universe will get you together with this person.

Then, out of nowhere, you will not be able to stop thinking of them and chances are that they will text you or get ahold of you somehow because they will feel that attraction.

Getting Feely with You

Maybe you bump into someone, and they hug or kiss you on the cheek. This can be an energy that you feel that is strong. This can show you that someone is thinking of you sexually. You will know that someone is interested in you if they change how they look for you.

When someone is attracted to you, they will always try to look their best so that you will pay attention to them, and you will like how they look. They will do what they can to make you attracted to them and to look best for you.

They know that if you are attracted to them then you will listen to your intuition and pick up their sexual energy. Remember, your intuition never lies to you and if there is a strong sexual energy, listen to what your intuition is telling you.

Stop Thinking About Them

You will have a hard time stopping yourself from thinking about someone that is always thinking about you. This does not always happen, but the universe will help to get someone on your mind that is all about you. This could be a friend or a loved one or even a stranger.

When you have a hard time stopping yourself from thinking about someone, it can mean you are connected to them in a psychic way. You will sense them because of your psychic powers.

If you cannot stop thinking of someone, chances are that they are thinking about you. You might wonder why but you may find out that they are thinking of you because they like you.

How to Stop Thinking of Someone

When you cannot get someone off your mind it can make you tired and drained. If you have to think of someone constantly, it can affect your mental health. You will find that you cannot focus on anything but them.

This can be your partner, or this can be someone else in your life. No matter what happens or how weird this sounds, if you want to stop thinking about someone, you have to decide to think about something else such as your work, a hobby, your job, or something else.

You are in control of your thoughts, and you need to change your thinking to things that you love to do. When you cannot stop thinking about someone, you need to take control of your thoughts. Find people to talk to and focus on them instead of the person on your mind.

How Do You Know if He is Thinking of You?

You don’t have to look at your horoscope to find out if he is thinking of you. If he is listening to you and wants to know everything that there is to know about you then chances are that he is thinking of you.

You can know that someone is thinking of you by noticing these signs:

• He talks about things that remind him of you.
• He is happy when you are around.
• He knows all things about you.
• He puts effort to make you smile.
• He tells you he is thinking of you.

All of these things can show you that someone is thinking of you. If he wasn’t thinking of you then he wouldn’t do these things for you nor would he ask you questions.

If you sends you messages or tells you that he is thinking of you then he is.

Things Your Body Will Show You When Someone is Thinking of You

Here are some things that can happen to your body if someone is thinking of you:

• Getting goosebumps or the hair on your arms standing up.
• Ears getting hot.
• Your mood changing.

Getting hiccups out of nowhere can mean someone is thinking of you. If you have negative feelings and then out of nowhere you get happy, this can mean someone is thinking of you.

If you have lost someone that you loved and you find a white feather, this can be another sign someone is thinking of you.

You might wonder if any of this is real, but it is up to you to believe it.

Signs Someone Is Thinking of You

Your body will react in certain ways that you might not even notice when someone is thinking of you. You might find that out of nowhere you begin to smile. This can happen because you are trying to make someone have a better day or because you are thinking of someone you love.

You may not even realize you are smiling. This happens because your brain gets a signal that you are happy, and it lets you feel loved. If someone likes you and is thinking about you, you will feel it.

Then, when you see that person, you will smile and feel happy because they are by you. When you look at this person, you will be more than nice smiling, but you will feel that you are excited and happy and that is what is bringing on the smile.

The way that you smile will show you that someone is on your mind.

Mood Changes

If this has happened to you and you didn’t know why, chances are that you went from a negative to a positive mood. This can happen because you feel that someone is thinking of you, and it makes you feel good.

When this happens, you might have found that you were depressed and feeling sad but then out of nowhere you began to feel happy and at peace. This can be the Law of Attraction showing you that someone is thinking of you.

Your subconscious can tell you that someone is thinking of you and that their energy is coming to you and changing your mood.

Bringing You Together

Do you ever wonder why people love each other or how they fall in love? Your subconscious will let you know when someone likes you because of the vibrations that they send out. They might touch you or smile at you but sometimes this can happen even when they aren’t around.

When people want to be in love, they will show the other person this. They want to be with someone that will make them feel good and will make them feel whole.

There are spiritual messages that someone that likes you will send you and this is as real as a physical sign. But you will eventually meet this person and you might even get with them. This could be someone that you have seen before over and over, but you never realized that you had a connection. The connection that you have though will bring you closer to that person.

Eye Movements

You may have allergies, or an eye condition and it can cause you to have eye movements, but if you don’t, an eye twitch can mean someone is thinking of you.

But just because someone is thinking of you doesn’t mean that they like you and it can mean that they are actually talking bad about you.

You can tell if someone is being positive about you because if your left eye is itching or twitching then it is a positive thing but if it is your right eye, it is negative, if you are a woman. If you are a man, it goes the other way.

Feeling Tense

One thing about the human body is that your mind can set boundaries for you that you don’t even realize. How many times have you gotten an idea and then you figure out how to solve it? This can happen to you when you aren’t sure what to eat or if you aren’t sure what to do. Your body will become tense, and this happens because your mind is trying to get you to pay attention to what is going on.

If someone is talking bad about you, you can feel this in your mind. Your body will become tense and maybe you will even blush. This can be their negative energy coming to you.

Hiccupping is another sign that someone is complaining about you. This means that they are trying to create drama with you, and this can cause you to have negative energies.

Someone might even complain about you just to feel better about themselves. If you hiccup only when you are around a certain person, this can mean they are the one that is always complaining about you.

No one can really tell you why things go like this, but you can know that something is changing in your life and showing you that someone is thinking of you.

Your subconscious mind will give you signs that can affect your physical body and can show you that it is happening all around you.

Good Energy

Your mind can also tell you when someone is giving you good vibes, even if they live far away. Your mind can feel a connection with someone no matter where they live. If you are with someone, you can know that your partner is thinking about you.

Sometimes the feelings of thinking about you can come as a feeling of being touched or as a feeling of good energy flowing through you. If you are feeling down or depressed and out of nowhere your energy gets happy and strong, this is a sign someone is sending you positive thoughts.

When your ears are burning, someone might be thinking good things about you. This can be warm feelings and is why your ears are feeling warm.

One sign that someone has a crush on you is that you sneeze a sneeze so loud that it comes out of nowhere and shakes your whole body. This can happen no matter where you are and if there is no dust around you. This can mean someone really misses you and wants to be with you.

Conclusion

Your mind and your soul are connected in so many ways and they can help you to understand things going on around you. You can take time to think about how much the universe wants to show you things inside of yourself.

When you have any of these signs above, chances are that someone is thinking of you in a good or a bad way. Pay attention to the signs and what they are trying to show you and tell you.

Being rejected is one of the hardest things that can happen to someone, and this is especially true if you loved that person that rejected you.

Everyone will end up being rejected at some point in time but no matter how many times someone gets rejected, it still hurts. Sometimes when you get rejected, you are completely blown away by it. You might think that you and your date had amazing times together and then out of nowhere, he rejects you.

Knowing He Doesn’t Love You

The hardest part of rejection is that you have to stop making excuses for the person that is hurting you. You have to stop thinking that he loves you because he doesn’t.

No matter how much fun you had together and how much you think he is the right person for you, that was all just on your end and he didn’t or doesn’t feel the same.

If someone chooses not to love you, it doesn’t matter how good the relationship looks or feels, he is not going to love you. You have to accept that he doesn’t want you and even when your brain tries to tell you how perfect things are, you have to tell your brain to get over it.

Cut Him Out

Stop allowing him to be in your life. Cut him out of your life even when it is hard. When you love someone, it hurts to get rid of them but if you want to be happy and you want to be healthy, you need to get him out of your life.

You need to block his phone number and get him off of your social media. You need to do your life without him.

Chances are he will not like that you are getting him out of your life, but you need to be strong, and you need to look at your future and your heart.

At some point in your life, you might be able to be friends with this person, but right now, the love that you feel for him is too much and you need to move on since he no longer loves you.

Live Without Him

You can live your life without a man. You don’t need someone in your life, especially while you are healing.

If you were really in love with that guy, then the relationship must have felt strong. Falling in love can be easy and falling in love is fast but falling out of love can take a long time. Take the time that you need but do it on your own. Do not depend on another guy to take his place.

Spend time with people that love you and do things that you used to love to do. Find hobbies that are fun and learn to laugh, a lot.

Go out with your family and friends and people that love you like you love them. No matter how much you miss your relationship, do things that are about you and not about how much you loved him.

Find a Rebound

When you have given yourself time to heal, you can find someone new. Chances are there will be people that already have crossed your mind.

Once you feel better, go for a rebound. You don’t have to force yourself to move on, but you can go out and have fun.

Even if you are confident, you are taking a chance of getting dumped again but don’t let that hold you back. Keep your self-esteem strong and remember that you are worth it.

Better Off Alone

No matter what you think or how alone you feel, know that you are better off alone than with someone that doesn’t love you.

Your mind made you think that what you had was love but that doesn’t mean that it was true love. Get over your feelings of your breakup and accept the fact that he didn’t love you.

It is better to have someone in your life that is new or to not have someone in your life at all than to be with someone that doesn’t love you the way that you deserve to be loved.

Love is something that isn’t easy, but it is what almost everyone wants. You may find love when you don’t even expect it, or chances are that you may never find real love. This happens to so many people, but they do have love with their family and friends.

Maybe you wonder why you haven’t been able to find real love. You wonder why you can’t have what other people have. Sometimes this happens because we block out our desires and we cannot move past what happened before.

What is Real Love?

Real love is when you are able to connect with a person both physically and emotionally. It is someone that loves you and wants to know all about you and loves your faults.

Being single and being with someone both takes a lot of work. If you are looking for love, you need to know these things:

• Relationships are hard work.
• You cannot change someone.
• Someone cannot be fixed by you.
• It is worse to be in a bad relationship than to be single.
• Being single doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.
• Being single can help you to grow.

Signs You Will Never Find Real Love

One of the biggest signs that you will not find real love is that you are trying to make someone be who you want them to be.

This can never happen, and it causes things to be harder for you. Love is not real when you have to force someone to be with you or force them to change. You will be let down every time you do this.

Rushing Things

You need to make sure that you aren’t rushing yourself into love if you aren’t ready for it. Do not be pressured to be with someone and you are fine being single.

Rushing yourself is not romance and you need to make sure you have the feelings and that you let love come on its own time.

Your Own Needs

There is nothing wrong with meeting your needs and giving yourself what you want and need in life. But if you find that you are only caring about your needs, you aren’t ready for love.

Men and women want different things when they get together, and men like to be heroes. They want to be with someone that will respect them and be with them and they want someone that they can love and protect.

Men want to be a hero every day, and they will want to feel like they are needed. If your needs are all met, how will someone come and meet your needs for you?

Love Isn’t Number 1

If you aren’t ready for love, then you won’t make it a priority. This means that you are not past your breakup from before or that you aren’t ready. You might have your own ideas right now.

No Room for Romance

If you don’t have time to have romance, you won’t get it. People get so busy with their work and their families that they forget to pursue love.

You Hide

Maybe you hide from love or you are someone that doesn’t like to leave the house. You will have a hard time finding love in your bedroom.

Maybe you aren’t going out any and you are staying home. If this is happening, you will not meet someone or find true love.

Looking for Something Hidden

One of the hardest things about love is that we have expectations that we want in someone. We don’t take a little and give a little, but we want just what we want.

You will never find true love if you are looking for exactly what you want without giving in a little. You need to find someone you are attracted to and find someone with the same values and interests and go from there.

Perfect People

You think that you will find someone that is perfect, but you forget that there are no perfect people. You can guarantee that you will be with someone that has bad habits, disagreements and maybe even worse.

Do not let the idea of perfection hold you back form finding love. You need to find men you are attracted to and then move forward.

You are Behind

Some people do not do online dating apps, and this can make them behind in the dating scene. Some people want to just run into someone they like, and this doesn’t always happen.

You will need to get up to date with technology and understand that you might have to meet that special someone online.

Intimidating

Maybe you are intimidating because you are smart and good looking. This can make it hard for someone to find you and to be around you.

Your body language might make people feel that you are not on the market.

Rare Matches

Some people have a hard time accepting that finding the perfect match is hard or even impossible. You need to let love takes over and not have such high expectations.

Trying Too Hard

You might date too many people and you aren’t giving yourself enough time to get to know one person. You need to slow down and not exhaust yourself in dating.

Date different people but find out if you are compatible with them before you keep moving on. Stop love bombing which is going with all these short-term relationships. This will stop a real connection from happening.

Olympian Standards

You might want to have standards that are so high that you cannot meet someone. You cannot expect to meet a Greek god or goddess. You need to not have such high expectations and let people show you who they are.

Like someone’s eyes or hair and be amazed with the things that are inside more.

All or Nothing

Maybe you are someone that wants all of the things that you want, or you just would rather be single.  If this happens, you might not find someone because you will not get everything you want when you want it.

There should be things that you choose to not give up on such as your values and morals, but other things can work out.

Love Shy

If you have had broken relationships or grew up in a broken home, you might be afraid of love. This means that you are afraid that things will go badly before you give them a chance.

Maybe you don’t want to risk getting into relationships that will end and you don’t want to open yourself up to hurt.

Relationships can go badly, and you will never know what is going to happen until you give it a try.

Trauma from the Past

People that have had past trauma often have a hard time moving forward. They have a hard time falling in love because they haven’t gotten past the things that happened to them.

If someone is emotionally or physically abused, they might not be able to open up to love until they handle things from their past relationships.

Alone

Some people will choose to be alone over settling for what they don’t want. You should never settle but if you haven’t found love, keep trying. Go out and find out what you are attracted to and work towards it.

P Word

Some people are stuck in the idea of propinquity. This means that you will want to interact with people but when you make new connections, you think that they are someone that you want them to be when they might disappoint you.

Find people where you like to go such as the gym or the coffee shop. Keep your options open.

Past Mistakes

Some people have made mistakes over and over again and this scares them out of love. If you keep falling into the same relationship patterns, you might be afraid to keep trying to meet someone.

Get past your mistakes and do not let them hold you back from love.

Easy Going

It is hard for some people to get along with others. Some people fake their emotions and fake love. If you find that you have a hard time being with people or you are codependent on people fast, this can be a problem.

Stop being clingy and learn to have a normal relationship Being clingy brings about strong actions and it can make you feel obsessed.

Friendships

Those that have strong friendships might scare off potential partners. If you have people that you are always hanging out with, you might not be able to meet the person that you can love.

It would look strange if you were always with the same girl and if you weren’t dating her, even weirder.

Passive

People become passive when they don’t find love right away. They think that this is okay, and they expect to find love when the time is right.

Focus on being the best that you can be and learn to let the world guide you. Love may or may not come to you but if you are too passive, you can count it out.

Spontaneous

Maybe you are too spontaneous, and you aren’t going for what you want. You just hope that it will fall in your lap or that it will happen. Maybe you aren’t looking for love and you feel that if love is coming, you will find it.

You want to give and get love and if you are backwards, chances are finding love will be harder. You have to learn what other people want and need and then go for it.

Giving Up on Love

Some people have given up on love. They have been hurt or disappointed, so they just give up on it. If this, is you, you will have a hard time finding love?

You are worthy to be loved and you are needing to open up your heart and mind to this.

What to Do?

If you feel that you are not going to find love, you need to change the way that you approach it and find that you are worthy of love.

Here are some things that you can do to find love:

Hero Instinct

Understand that this is something guys want, and they want to give you. Let a guy be a hero if you are interested in him.

Be Your Best

Be the best that you can be and that is what you give others. Keep your body healthy and do the best to keep your mind, soul, and body strong.

Get Involved

Go out and meet new people and do new things. Take a class or go to the gym. You can’t meet people at home.

Trauma Help

Figure out how to get help to heal from your past trauma. Deal with anger or hurt that you have and see the positive side to what is happening in your life.

Let Magic Happen

Allow yourself to meet new people and see if there is a spark. Find what you are looking for but don’t be too picky. Don’t judge someone until you get to know them.

If nothing else, you can meet a new friend.

Say Yes

Learn to say yes to love and to do things that are new. Go out with people and have fun in your life. You might have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Up Your P

Find things that you like to do and go do it. Find people that have the same interests as you have and increase your propinquity with others.

Attract people that you like and find things that others would want to do with you. Make yourself known so that people can meet you.

Flow

Find ways that you can boost your productivity and find love. Go out and be attractive. Be happy and let people come to you.

Live your life to flow better and be authentic.

Keep Hope

Stay hopeful that you will meet someone and that you will find love. Don’t give up just because you haven’t met the perfect person yet. Keep going on your journey and be the best that you can be.

Channel Your Inner Strength

Find peace and do what you can to change yourself and the world. Do things to find love and appreciate those around you.

Give out your energy and time for others and love people with real love.

Patience

Learn to have real patience and to wait for what you want. Keep knowing that you can find love and that love will come to you.

Patience doesn’t mean you are giving up; it means that you will meet someone when the time is right.

Be Mysterious

Let love be a mysterious thing to you. Let things about love come true to you and learn to notice the good thing about yourself.

Be trusting of others and find out who they are.

Don’t Settle

Make sure that you are finding people you want to be with and don’t settle in your life. Find people that are good and that will give you happiness that you are looking for.

You would be better off alone than to settle but don’t do either. Find true love and choose relationships because you want to be in them and not because you are afraid of being alone.

Networking

Find people that know people and hook up with them. Go out with different people and be positive. Find people that fit with you and what you like.

Forgive

Forgive yourself and others for hurting you. If you have things that are holding you back, open up your heart and your life to forgive them. Embrace forgiveness and see that you can get over betrayal and hurt.

Thing About Love

The more that you chase after love, the more it seems to go away. But you cannot just wait for someone to find you. Go out and find out how to be the best that you can be, work on yourself and let love find you.

Think of love and how important it can be in your life. Love can change who you are and your future. Never give up and think you are unworthy of love, you are.

Have you recently broken up with your ex but then out of nowhere they begin to text you? Maybe you want to respond but then you think of all of the good reasons why you broke up in the first place. You might wonder, “should I be talking to my ex?” Here are some ways to handle this if it is happening to you.

Should I Text Them Back?

Ignoring people is not nice but you need to figure out why your ex is trying to talk to you and not forget why you broke up in the first place.

If you have been friendly with each other and you have talked to them regularly then it is fine to text them back. People sometimes break up and choose to stay friends and if you are friends, it is okay that you text them back to see what is going on in their world.

When you choose to stay friends, make sure that your conversations are friendly and not romantic or sexual. You have to decide if you are going to text them back and remember that there is a difference talking to a friend than there is a romantic partner.

Being with someone means that you are making weekend plans, or you are trying to make a way to see each other but as an ex, the texting should never be like sexting.

On the other hand, though, if you and your ex are not being friends then you should not have any reason to text them back if they text you.

Abusive Texting

If your ex has been abusing you mentally, physically, sexually, or even emotionally, you need to stay away from them. You need to stay out of abusive relationships and make sure that you are out of it forever. An abusive ex that begins to text you is one that is wanting to abuse you even more and you need to even go as far as to block them.

When your ex that was abusive starts texting you, chances are that they want to get back with you. This is a situation that you need to avoid. No matter how sorry they say they are or how much they say that they have changed, an abuser will often go back to abusing.

Now, if your ex went through significant counseling and different treatments to stop abusing and they text you, you might want to read what they have said but you still probably need to keep them out of your life.

If you have a child together, this can be a different situation and you will need to talk to your ex about visitation or about a connection with your child. If the conversation has to go back and forth or if he is trying to talk about other things, he probably is trying to get back together, and you need to be strong and keep your head straight.

It is often best to get someone to come and be a mediator when you have a child together. This will help you to not have to have much contact with your ex and they can help you to know issues with meeting times or other things such as:

• If you have a sick child.
• If your child misbehaved.
• If homework has to be completed.
• If a time to meet has to be changed.

Ex Text to Get Back Together

If you and your ex have started texting back and forth and they tell you that they miss you, here are some things you need to consider before you choose to have real conversations:

• Why did you break up?
• Was someone in the relationship unfaithful to the other?
• Did they want kids, and you didn’t or vice versa?
• Did you want to get married and they didn’t or vice versa?
• Was there things outside of the relationship that caused it to be hard to stay together?

There can be many reasons that people do not stay together, and the question is what caused the relationship to fail and why. You need to make sure that both of you are happy.

Communicating with your ex in text or even on phone calls can be a place that makes you or your ex vulnerable. They might miss you if you were friends at first and maybe they miss you just like you miss them. Your ex might want to see if you have met someone new and moved on or maybe they are just looking for a way to close this part of their life.

If your ex has been drinking, they might be wanting you to come over for a booty call and it is best for you to ignore this kind of text and not to answer till the next day if ever.

Whatever you choose, you need to know what you want out of this relationship before you ever decide to talk to them. Then, you need to make sure that you know what their intentions are so that you don’t get hurt along the way.

Mixed Signals

If you and your ex have been texting b ack and forth you need to be straight with what you want. You can respond to the text that they send you but make sure that you are not leading them on or giving them mixed signals. If you are in a relationship with someone new, tell them.

You never want to lead on your ex and make them think that you are going to get back together. If they want to make up and they still want to be with you, but you do not want that, you need to stop texting them right away.

If your ex tells you that they miss you or they missed seeing your smile, you need to make sure that you tell them that you are with someone and that you have moved on.

When your ex-texts you and tells you that they heard “our” song on the radio, you need to stop the conversation immediately. It shows your ex is thinking about you and wants to get back together. If you don’t want this, you need to tell them that the relationship is over and that you have moved on and that they also need to move on.

If your ex tells you that they made a mistake breaking up with you then you need to listen to their regrets but if you have moved on, you need to talk about the reasons that you broke up and then hang up after a brief discussion.

Therapy and Breaking Up

Most people can break up with someone and move on with their life after a short while. If you feel that you are not able to move on and you are dealing with depression or hard emotions, you might want to find a therapist or a counselor to talk to.

When you break up with someone, it will be hard, but it is something that you can work through. Breaking up is often times the result of unhappiness and you need to remember why you broke up in the first place and always stand your ground.

Karmic relationships are some of the most powerful connections that we can make. These relationships hit hard and fast and at first glance, they may leave us doubting ourselves and somewhat off balance. All relationships that we enter into can teach us about ourselves, but the intensity of a karmic relationship is able to do as much harm as good. The direction such a relationship will take depends on how we approach and navigate it and how quickly we realize it is a karmic relationship.

The twofold reason we enter a karmic relationship is to break the cycle of bad behavior collected from previous lives and to learn how to heal damage carried over so we can move forward, unencumbered by the past. Many people confuse soulmates and karmic relationships, but they are very different. Karmic relationships are meant to teach you about others and the world while soulmates teach you your worth. Sometimes, we need to learn the lessons, but other times our partner is the one who is learning a lesson.

Signs of a Karmic Relationship

• An overwhelming and immediate connection – The attraction cannot be denied even though you may tell yourself to take things slowly. It is impossible to slow down.
• No respect of boundaries – Their needs come first and this often means disregarding your limits, needs, and boundaries. No matter how often you tell them or try to, they will continue to disrespect boundaries you have set.
• Co-Dependent tendencies – Codependency is when one partner needs the other who in turn needs to be needed. This creates a damaging cycle that is highly difficult to break.
• One-sided – The energy balance will always be inequitable with one side giving of themselves while the other constantly takes.
• Short relationship – Due to the high energy and connection, the relationships only last for a short time periods, but are highly intense from the start to finish.
• Feels like an addiction – Karmic relationships create adrenaline and dopamine rushes that can be addicting. The constant push and pull creates a positive feedback loop that is almost impossible to walk away from.
• Hot and cold relationship – The relationship will be tumultuous at best with an on again, off again design that keeps repeating. You know you need to break away and can pull away for a bit, but you are always pulled back in to start all over again.
• Control freaks, stubbornness – In a karmic relationship, it is their way or the highway. They will not take any input you give seriously and will make you feel your viewpoint is unwanted or not respected.

Walking Away

As with any form of toxic relationship, the first step to walking away is recognizing what is happening. Often, outsiders can see the truth long before you are willing. Listen to loved ones as they express concerns. No one likes to hear they made a poor choice, but if you are hearing it from many directions means you need to listen. If it is from more than one source then it is not just lack of understanding, but something you need to look at objectively. You need to see yourself as worth being treated with love and respect. Recognize you are learning some important lessons and will grow and thrive, but it is time to step away. Remember, love should enhance our lives, not detract from it. Being in love is a great life experience so make sure it is an equal love that can last a lifetime.

Our suffering is caused by our desire to cling onto something.  If we fall to release the grip, it will eventually suffocate us or we may harm another.  Our anxiety stems from unresolved threats that seek to sabotage us.  We don’t want to let go of anything for fear it may never come back.  However, nothing is permanent, let alone relationships.  We must stop defining ourselves by the company we keep for our concept of happiness or longevity.

We have become defensive due to the seeds of doubts taking hold in the soil of our psyche.  We see the plants have taken root and now bearing fruits of uncertainty.  What once may have thrilled us now has become boring and rote.  This familiarity unsettles us and drives us to chase new experiences despite any costs.  Desire occurs before anxiety, but uncontrolled desire will fluctuate suddenly without any type of approval or consent.  Notice if you feel the urge to control a person or situation.  Can you sense how misery is creeping in as you sense a shift in perspective or demands?  This is because your foundation has eroded in a state of bitterness, resentment, shame or regret.

When you enable another person to distort your existence by their desire, so too will disappointment amplify your illusions.  You may begin to place more credence on what others say while demeaning your inclinations thus creating a state of self-induced suffering.  This suffering arises because of the urge to escape the situation by clinging to or possessing a person or object.  We worry this person may leave or think less of us.  Don’t let this burden take root within yourself.  No one is responsible for our happiness, but ourselves.

We must walk through life on our terms.  We choose with whom to surround ourselves, but our actions are ours alone!  We can only live for us and no one else.  Nor can we assume anyone else’s journey or intentions.  We have the Divine gift of freedom and freewill.  We don’t need anyone but ourselves to validate our existence.

Happiness is transient, but created by our own lived experiences.  Much like the many phases of the moon, so too do our emotions and mood color our perspective.  Its ok to be on an emotional rollercoaster at times, but this has no implications from anyone else, but our innermost thoughts and feelings.  We create our reality.  Sure, we desire to be loved and appreciated, but we first must love and validate ourselves.  Our deepest desire to crave noting.  Only this moment can fully sustain us without any distortion.  We yearn not so much to be loved as to love fully, unconditionally, and unwavering for all things in all ways to everyone.  Our love is not discriminatory to fit a particular type of person or situation.

Humans are intrinsically happy until we are conditioned to believe that we are not satisfied.  Then our egos take over and a sense of competition arises, “Who can become the happiest within the quickest period of time?”  This pattern has become engrained in us for generations through a blend of environmental, biological, cultural, and societal transmissions.  How can we best align our lives to fit our goals if we are constantly listening to the chatter from others?

From where do our perceptions of happiness and wants arise?  Why must be color ourselves by crayon of expectations from others?  We are not what and who we think we are!  Clinging to outdating thinking of self ensure we crave unrealistic expectations and waste both vital life energy and time.  Instead, we must see ourselves as a constantly evolving being of Divine love and goodness.

Sexuality is a sacred and sensual act that work to pierce into the unknown.  Reality holds an unwavering sanctified mirror of ourselves in totality.  We only need to rely on ourselves and don’t need external aid.  When we share our spiritual and sensual essence with another it is done purely and without expectations.

Sexual chemistry may be a base rung on the ladder of attraction.  Yet, sexual attraction can quickly alter into sexual bondage subconsciously.  Sexual bondage is a mean to escape the union from and to yourself.  We must see it more as a primal force of our carnal form.  As humans, we must allow ourselves to enjoy sex without anxiety, but work to prevent being consumed by its concept.  Should we choose to remain ambivalent to impeding the soul’s desire for communing with another’s presence and physical body we are actually amplifying our feels of being isolated and thus fearful of perceived clinginess or codependency.

Loving someone that doesn’t love you back can be painful. Maybe it was someone that you broke up with or a friend that you had benefits with and then you got your feelings in the way.

No matter who it was that made you feel this way, it is hard for someone when you realize that someone doesn’t love you the way that you love them.

Not everyone is going to love you and return the love to you that you show them. You might wonder why unrequited love even happens.

Sometimes unrequited love happens because we give our heart to people and we become attached easier than others. Do you ever feel secure in your relationship or are you one that is always expecting it to end?

When people study relationships, those that are in relationships that are anxious and worried are more likely to fall in love with people that don’t love them back. These people try to avoid love because they don’t want to deal with someone not feeling the same about them. They love the idea of romance, but they avoid it.

People that have secure attachment styles more than likely do not experience unrequited love.

The thing is attachment styles aren’t the only things that you need to pay attention to. You will experience this kind of love when you only fall in love with the idea of love. When you have emotions that are overwhelming to you and you are looking for someone to love you, your innocent crush can turn you into loving someone that doesn’t love you back.

Having unrequited love is sucky and the best thing to do is to do your best to move past it. Try to find happiness and not let your heart be broken.

Figure Out What You Want

One of the best ways to get over someone not loving you back is to figure out why you wanted to be in the relationship from the beginning. Are you in a relationship because you don’t want to be alone, or do you really love them?

Consider how you feel and if this person is valuable to you. Figure out why you wanted to be in that relationship. If you really love yourself, you will see that it is easier to make decisions on who to love.

Be Sad

You have to give yourself time to get over someone that has broken your heart. Even if you prematurely thought that they would love you, give yourself time to be sad.

Do not just be positive because that is what people want from you. Feel your feelings and then work through them and let them go. Give yourself time to be sad and as soon as you are over it, move on.

Date Again

Go out and keep dating other people. Once you are rejected, you might be afraid of that happening again but learn to move on. Get over someone not loving you and find someone that will.

You can have a desire to be with someone that will actually return love to you.

Finding the One

Having someone to not love you back is very hard, but it means you haven’t found the one for you yet. The problem isn’t you; the problem is that the person wasn’t ready and that you got serious too fast.

Everything that you do is something that has to be for you. Learn to move forward and let the future bring you the perfect one for you.

Look at Your Interactions

Pay attention to what happened with this person and figure out when you realized that they weren’t returning love to you. The moment that you can recognize what went wrong in your interactions, you can learn from this.

Do not feel ashamed of yourself for not catching this faster but learn to learn from it and when you move into a new relationship, be aware of what happened so it doesn’t happen again.

Get to Know Them

Take time to get to know everything about the person you like. Know their good, bad, and ugly sides. Sometimes people see the best in someone, and they forget to look at the other parts.

No one is perfect and when you are able to see their faults, you can realize that you can be grounded and see things realistically. This will let you see that they weren’t who you wanted anyways.

Allow Yourself to Love

Take pride in being able to love. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and don’t be mad that you are. It is hard to go through rejection but just be thankful that you have been able to get over it and move on.

You will never find love if you give up when you get your heart broken. Learn to value love and let people come to you that cherish you.

Loving someone that doesn’t love you back can make you feel bad about who you are. There is no reason that you should ever feel that way. No matter what the reasons are, learn to recognize that having unrequited love can be amazing because it shows you what kind of love you can give.

Your love comes from a place where you are not selfish and where you put others first. This can make you happy and help you to feel good in your heart. Never be afraid to love someone and you will see that you will meet the perfect person when the time is right.