When You Are Unable to Hurt Others

Each relationship is different, and many people wonder if they have a romantic relationship that will last forever when they go through enlightenment and the truth is that there is no real relationship rule for this because each relationship is so different, but the truth is, your life will be better no matter what.

Some people have relationships that go to another level that is better and even perfect at the time. Do not go out and put a lot of stress on your partner or try to get them to change but allow them to do what is good for themselves. Find out what they want and figure out what you want and allow the relationship to be happy and to let the universe have its way in it.

What Will Happen?

There are some things that can happen during your enlightenment including:

  • Their vibrations have to change to match yours, so if you are happy, chances are they will get happy.
  • You will change and you will feel different, but it’s a good things.
  • The relationship will end, and it will open up an area for someone else to come in that fits better with you.

When the first two things happen, this can mean that your relationship will last forever. Do not let your joy end and stop working so hard on your relationship but just be happy with what is going on in your life.

Chances are that you might meet someone that is better than your past relationship. You will find out that if you break up with your current love that you will see that you will feel better and your vibrations will increase. You will reach a new level in your enlightenment and you will want to restore your own self so that you can reach a better relationship.

You have to learn to let your heart go and allow the universe to find someone for you that will share your spiritual journey and will make you feel happiness and peace in your life. Allow your love life to have energy and to help you become the best you can be.

Ended Relationship

If your relationship ends quickly and you find yourself alone, allow yourself to get to know more about what is inside of you. Allow the universe to show up and to bring someone that is more compatible with you. They will share your vibrations, and this will happen at the right time. Do not try to rush this. Learn to enjoy your life and be happy.

Take your happiness and learn to wait for things to come in their own time. Be happy with what you have now and allow it to bring you love. You have time now to make your other relationships better with your friends and your family. Stop trying to attract someone and let the universe send you what you need.


Some people will have to let go of their old relationships because they are changing and moving in a different direction. You want to reach your higher self and if you are going through enlightening and you find that your relationship is not exciting and that the change is great, this can be the universes way of freeing you so that you can find yourself or a new love.

Goodbye Past

It is time to say goodbye to your past. If this includes your relationship, let it go and find that you will make different choices and that your mind will be clearer about the choices that you make.

Was it Love?

Imagine the person that you were with and figure out in your heart if you really thought it was true love. Were you happy and were you feeling the love of your partner?

Being Left

If you are the person that is being left, do not feel surprised, this sometimes happens when you go through change. Do you want someone that really adores you and accepts your change or do you want someone who doesn’t?

Having someone in your life that doesn’t accept your enlightenment will never bring you happiness. You need to find someone that is about you and about you changing and finding your best you. Find someone that wants the best for you.

New Love

New love will come when you have reached where you need to be in life. There is no rule as to when this will happen.

Need to Be Alone

Some people need to be alone during their enlightenment and here are some ways you will know if you need to embrace your solitude for a while:

  • If you keep trying to find alone time and being quiet. If you find your quiet time to be satisfying.
  • If you desire to have time with yourself and you feel that you do not need to be with someone else. Or, if you feel too addicted to someone then you will need alone time to find your wholeness.

Inner Guidance

Do you wonder why changing hurts? This happens because there is something that you are gaining in life that will be much better for you. When you feel temporarily sad or lonely, you will have these feelings, but they will move past you and your feelings will be there to help you change and transition in your new life.

Sometimes going through pain is part of finding who you really are.

Inner Self

Make sure you let go of things around you and you learn to connect with who you are. Life is trying to help you get over negative things and to bring you to peace.

Letting Go

If your heart tells you to let, go of your relationship then chances are that they do not match up to your vibrations. You need to find someone that fits you better or you will never find your greatest calling.

Wonderful Future

There will be something better for you and for the person you are freeing if you let them go. They will be able to find someone that they really fit with.

Staying for the Kids

Do not stay in a relationship for your children. Sometimes you have to go through pain so that you can better yourself. Allow your children to see that.

Teaching Children

When you teach your children to stay with someone just for them, it causes them to believe that they have to suffer in negative situations. Your happiness should not depend on someone else or the approval of others. Find happiness and teach your children to find them.


Your children will learn from you and you need to be real with your children and not try to trick them or give them false hope.

Feeling Right

Do things that make you feel right. If you are always being honorable to others and you need to move on, do it.

Reflection of Evolution

Your relationships should be a reflection of your evolution and your change. When you change relationships, you will see that this should reflect your growth.

Death Do Us Part

If someone thinks that you should judge a relationship based on how long it lasts, that is wrong. You should be with someone that makes you feel good and someone that shares your hopes and your dreams. When you change, your dreams might change, and this might push your partner away.

Never measure a relationship and decide it is good by how long things last. If something ends, then chances are it was not meant to be.


Relationships do not always just end sometimes they just evolve and when you move on away from your partner, this allows them to change and to evolve as well.

Taking a Step Back: Why It Can Be Good

There are times in life when we think things are working out. Perhaps you have chosen a path and gotten into a top school, but things are slowing down, a job cannot be found and now you find yourself crumpled into a pile wondering where it all went wrong. We have all been there, all ready to give up at some point. Still, if we are willing to hang in there, make the twists and turns, things can work out for the best. Even when the past year or longer has been far from easy, there are some lessons to be learned. A few of these lessons are shared below.

It is Okay Not to Know

This is possibly the hardest lesson to learn and accept because we are usually goal-oriented and driven. When we decide on a goal and pursue all that that encompasses we have a focal point, but without a goal, we can start to become depressed, anxious, and even weepy. Still, it is okay not to have a goal, not to know what is next just yet. Keep moving forward, do what you love and stay open to possibilities.

Clean Up the Messes

Before we can move on to another goal or move on in life in general, we must clean up the messes at the present. For some this may mean drawing lines and creating boundaries with those in your life who are too emotionally needy. You need space to do your own thing. While this does not mean cutting everyone off, set and keep clear boundaries. Step away and free yourself to allow time to heal. Work on personal development and talk to others who are trying to improve themselves as well to see what has worked. Take time to focus on your own happiness and worrying so much about making others happy. This requires a great deal of mental energy, pleasing others, but it is okay to be self-focused. Figure out your personal blocks and work on them so you can move forward.

Follow Your Instincts

Though your well-meaning friends and family want to see you safe and happy, sometimes they give you advice that is not necessarily what you need. It may sound logical, but you know in your gut it will not further your goals. While this does not mean you should not find mentors or seek professional advice, take care of yourself along the way as well. Don’t put too much weight into any advice, but follow your gut. Thank people for caring, but choose what to do for yourself.

Big Picture

Even though it may seem like you are taking a step backwards, it is only a negative if you stop trying or learning. A calculated retreat allows you time to find out what did not work, why, and how to correct it. This takes time and a great deal of introspection. Take the time you need to be self-focused and taking care of yourself. For those on the outside, it may look like you are doing nothing, but in the end, the results will be worth it. A setback is not the end, nor does it mean you have failed, just that you are forging a new path.

Signs that Your Relationship Is Not Worth Saving

Being in a bad relationship can make your life hard and can lead even to things such as anxiety and depression. If you are the only person that is putting things into the relationship, it will feel like it is one sided and that will make the relationship tiring and you will never know where it is really heading.

If you are in a relationship that never seems to go anywhere, think if it is really worth being in and worth saving. Here are some signs that you might need to move on:

Avoiding You

If you have a partner that never has time for you and is always spending time with other people, he might not find you interesting or want to be with you. You want to find someone in your life that wants to take time for you.

You Are Different

Loving someone means that you accept them for who they are, and you do not want them to change. If you are with someone that is always wanting you to change or be someone you aren’t, chances are you should leave that relationship.

Go to Person

You should have strong communication with the person you are with and this should be your go to person. You should always be able to open up to this person and if you cannot, there is probably something wrong in your relationship.


When you do communicate with your partner, do you feel that you are always fighting even over dumb things? You should be able to express your feelings without fighting over things.

Heart Strings

As your relationship gets stronger, you should be more in love, but you will get out of the honeymoon phase. If you find that you do not have any sparks after this stage, you might should let this person go and find someone new.

Getting and Not Giving

A relationship should be equal steps on both sides. If this is not happening and you are the only one putting in any effort, you need to either repair your relationship or find someone who appreciates who you are.


Everyday of your relationship is not going to be super exciting but it shouldn’t always be a bore either. If you go for walks together or cook a great meal, there should be some excitement. There has to be effort on both sides to make the relationship work.


Growing in your relationship should be the goal of any healthy relationship. Both you and your partner should always grow together. If you are not inspiring each other and you are growing apart, you may need to end this relationship.


Your partner should not always want to be about you but if a good amount of their time does not include or involve you, chances are that they are not putting effort into knowing you.

Feeling Loved

Being with someone is all about feeling loved and feeling wanted. If you no longer feel that way and you feel that you are always working too hard to feel like you matter, you might need to move on without them.

A relationship should be about being happy and healthy and if you are not in this kind of relationship, consider letting them go and finding someone new.

Giving Your Relationship Some Soul

Everyone wants to be in a relationship where they have a good companion, and they have love. If you are a woman, you will likely be someone that seeks out intimacy and wants to learn to communicate and build a good foundation with your partner.

What other concerns do you have and what does your soul want in regard to your relationship? Chances are you will want to have a relationship that will help you to get closer to your partner, that will allow you to connect with them at a deep level and that will help you to touch each other’s heart and soul. You will want to have this kind of relationship no matter who you are.

When you feed your soul, you will have to be creative and you will want to make sure you have the right things in your relationship so that you can have a meaningful relationship.

Creative Ways to Make Your Partner Your Soul Partner

There are ways that you can work hard to make your partner a soulful partner and here are some of the ways:

What Matters

Always take time each day to ask what matters to your guy. Ask him what he wants in his life, how his day has been or what dreams he has.

Maybe your partner dreamed of having kids or writing a book. Just like your dreams, his dreams are there to help him remember who he wants to be and to help him reach his future. He will accomplish his dreams and fulfill his purpose and he need you by his side.

Soul Food

Take time each day to be creative in how you tell him you love him. Put ketchup on a hotdog that says, “I love you,” or top a plate with sauce.

Food can be special but make it even more special by using it to tell him how much you love him. Let the food satisfy him and leaving him wanting more of you.


Find music to dance for that will make you happy. Find something that helps you dance and feel tender. This can help you to heal in your mind, body, and soul and even in your intimacy.

This music can be groovy, fast, or even slow.

Touch Him

Touch your partner with conversation. Spend hours cuddling him and talking about things that are both important to you and to him. Talk about things from your childhood and ask about his.

Share secrets with your partner that you never shared before. Talk about things in life and find out what is in his heart. Talk about what kind of future you want to have.


Share your dreams and your desires with your partner. Do not forget to leave in the things that scare you or make you happy.

When you share your dreams with your partner, you allow them to share your emotions and to reach each other’s hearts. You can change your relationship by using these things to gain deeper understanding of each other.

This can bring your future and your past together.

Psychic Reading

Take your partner to a psychic reading and get answers to questions you both may have. Maybe he is worried about his career or something in his life or maybe he wants to leave his job.

A psychic is there to help you get answers to questions and to find out what things are hidden deep down inside of you.

Allow your partner to have an open mind and to open his soul so he can gain insight to the different things in his personality and his life.

Since you love him as much as you do, you would give him whatever you could, even the stars if you could. Allow him to understand the energies of the universe and how it affects you and him and your situations. The energies can change the course of both of your lives and be very meaningful to both of you.

Read to You

Ask your partner to read something to you from his favorite book or newspaper. This can be an intimate moment because you are giving him all of your attention. This can also stir your childhood feelings because you are thinking of the times where you used to be read to.

This can be a book of poetry or a book on relationships or a suspense novel. The experience will allow you to both focus on each other and spend time together.

Tracing Roots

Find out the history of your family and your partners family. This will be something fun that you can do together.

You may find out some interesting facts about yourself and your partner and you will see what your partner is all about and this can cause your relationship to grow even more.

The history of your family will not be as important as spending time finding things out together.


If you have your soulmate and are connected with them, you want your relationship to be even deeper. Allow them to fill your soul with happiness and think of creative ways each day to show him how much you want him in your heart.

Tired of Loving You

Does your heartbeat faster and you feel that your life is moving in front of you? You have pain in your body and every part of your soul aches? Do you feel that your attention is focused on yourself so that you do not cry or feel overly sick or exhausted?

Maybe you feel that you are too needy and maybe you want to date more, and you want to have surprises. You might want someone that will spoil you and buy you flowers or text you late at night. Even if you fight, you want to have good morning texts and you want them to tell you how good or bad their day was. You want to be that person they run to when good things happen and when bad things happen.

You might want someone that will grab you and kiss you and hug you. Someone that will grab your waist and twirl you around. You need someone that will kiss you goodbye when they leave.

Chances are that you will want something more than a casual date and you will want to be with someone that wants to talk more about goals and life than about the end credits of a movie. You want someone that is in a relationship that wants to commit and be with you fully.

You deserve to be with someone that wants to be with you and someone that you feel fully about. You want to be with someone that loves you and cares for you and someone that is proud to have you beside of them. Everyone needs to be more than just a booty call. Maybe you want someone that will cuddle with you at night and will kiss you and respect you.

You want someone that loves you and that you believe loves you because they show you who they are, and they want to be close to you. Maybe you are getting tired of fake love and want something different, someone to spoil you and to hug you when you need it without there having to be an occasion.

Love is Tiring

If you are too tired of giving everything and not getting the same in return, chances are you need someone that feels more about you than the person you are with. It can be a tiresome journey to be with someone that makes you feel less important than you are.

You need to feel worthy and to feel that you have love without demanding it. You should never have to put in more effort than your partner and you deserve someone to love you without asking.

Maybe You Loved Me

When you care about someone and you love them, you do not want to ask them to love you back. Maybe you are with someone that you love but you are tired of loving them.

Find Love by Loving Yourself First

People probably hear the phrase to “love yourself first” or that “you must first love yourself  before you can love others.” However, most people don’t understand what that means. Some equate self-love with being selfish and everyone knows selfishness is a downfall to relationships and happiness.

It is true that people need to learn how to love themselves as it is a huge tool for success. The problem is most people have established blocks to doing that without even realizing it. The first thing you have to do is identify these blocks and remove them.

Removing Blocks

There are three major areas where there are blocks to loving yourself. The first is being around toxic people. Many of us have keep toxic people in our lives simply because we don’t know any differently. We think because they are a co-worker or a family member that we must endure. That isn’t true.

One way to start on your self-love journey is to set healthy boundaries. These boundaries establish to others how you expect to be treated. Setting boundaries shows yourself that you deserve to be treated a certain way and shouldn’t settle for less.

This can be really helpful during family gatherings, particularly around the holidays. Many people stress themselves out trying to meet everyone else’s demands without expressing any of their own needs. This can result in misery, depression and a loathing of the holidays when it should be a joyous time.

People should learn that sometimes it is okay to tell family members no, even during the holidays. You don’t have to go to someone’s home if they always treat your poorly. You don’t have to remain quiet if the family event isn’t suitable to your schedule. Your life, schedule and being deserves respect.

A second obstacle in many people’s lives is always believing what others tell them about themselves. If someone says something enough times, we tend to think it’s true. It may not be. People should take evaluations based on the person giving them, their motivation for giving them and actual fact. Step away from the situation to evaluate criticisms objectively. If they have no truth or if the person wasn’t trying to be helpful, dismiss it. Be open to receiving truth and apply it to your life. Changing things are a positive thing, but you must balance it with you are are.

The third obstacle people cope with is forgiving yourself. We all have regrets but many people have trouble letting go and moving on. Hanging onto past mistakes can affect your future because you never allow yourself the opportunity to learn from your past and apply lessons to your future.

How Loving Yourself Affects Your Life

Loving yourself can offer immediate positive results in your life. Learning to love yourself makes you happier and that attracts others. It is a known fact that people are automatically attracted to happy people. This attraction brings more opportunities for love, money, and career.

Producing Self Love

Producing self love takes time but it starts with your mind. A place to start is in your brain. It is proven that 95 percent of all behavior is ruled by what you think. People tend to act out of their mindset and that can produce either positive or negative results.

You can retrain your brain using a couple of methods. One is to close your eyes and take time to talk love to yourself. This can be expressing all your positive qualities, talents or what’s in the deepest part of your soul. Repeating this often will, just like the toxic talk, eventually result in your truly believing it. Then, you will act on it.

Another brain exercise is to imagine your life as you want it. Visulize every detail. Once you visualize it, you will start acting in a way to manifest it.

Making these small changes in your life will bring more self love into your world on a daily life. They will build upon each other once you implement them on a regular basis.

Learning from Losing Your Love

Have you lost someone that you have loved, and it feels like the world has stopped and the sun will never shine again? Do you feel like your nights last forever and they are no longer fun or romantic, but they are dark and scary?

You will feel wounded and like your cut is full of salt. This will leave you feeling uncertain and vulnerable. You have lost the person you love, your best friend and lover and now you aren’t sure what to do next.

When you are in a relationship that is good, you expect that your partner will be with you forever. You forget not to take for granted this relationship and you never imagine that your life will be without them.

Maybe you have been going on a couple of months since you have lost your loved one and maybe you are seeing now that you have to learn to move on and make life better.

There are things you can learn when you lose someone you love:


You have to learn to remember what you appreciated about your love. You have to realize that you were on a journey with this person and it was amazing and different. It was different than any journey that others had, and you should appreciate that these memories exist.

You have to realize that you cannot compare yourself to others and you cannot compare your relationship to anything else. You have to remember that spending time with the person you love is what you are meant to do, and you never should feel like love was less than someone else’s.

The great thing about love is that it is unique and in your life it can be successful.


You will have change in your life. Having change is not always fun but you have to accept it and know that you will be okay.

Relationships change as time changes and you will see that changes are a new way of living. Once you realize this, you learn to be more respectful and love the things that you are doing in your life.


When you think of the loss that you have inside of you, think of what your life would have been like if they hadn’t been part of it.

Remember to be thankful for that person in your life and what they showed you. Imagine what your life could have been. Even in separation you have found that you had someone that loved you and made life fun.

Stop thinking about bad things in your relationship and remember that you need to be thankful for what you have.


Learn to create an adventure in your life. When you get into a relationship, chances are you lose your time and passions.

You have to learn to be somewhat independent because this is healthy, and you have to live your passions and be truthful with who you are.

Being in a good relationship makes space in your life and it allows you to be together.

Don’t Look Back

You cannot change what happens in your life and you have gone through things so that you can grow.

You will be who you are meant to be, and you need to be thankful for the relationship and what it taught you. Never look back and be distracted by your past.


Make a choice to be positive and to find positive things about others. Know that people are different and unique and that they have flaws.

Even flaws are unique. If you find that you have broken up with someone you love, remember the things that made your relationship and your life unique and know that it was special.


Be open and caring of others. Listen to what people are telling you. Have empathy towards others and pay attention to those that are listening to you. Share your emotions with other people and always be present.


Let people find their own way. Love them along the way but if they want to be let lose, let them. If they want to walk away, it is their choice and maybe the world has more to offer you. Let it go and grow.

Nature of Love

Understand that your relationship will be full of emotions and feelings. Life is one of the things that dictates your life.

Accept that things in your journey often change and there will be times when one will carry the relationship and it will be normal and healthy and then there will be times where it is a struggle.

Being partners means that there is going to be a story.


Some of the happiest people in life never stop trying new things. If you want to have a strong relationship with someone, learn to explore life and do new things.

Never get stuck in one place and even if you have not done something before, open up and try it. Learn to take chances and have an open mind.


Write down things. Sometimes you are busy, and you forget to communicate with others. Write a note or a text to someone you love and let them know you are thinking about them and how much they mean to you.


Learn to communicate with people and understand them. Even if you seem to speak different languages, learn to communicate openly, and figure out how to talk to others.

Learn to be effective in what you say and make sure your partner understands you. Ask people if they want to talk to you and be sensitive. If they don’t want to, respect that. Enjoy talking and understanding each other without criticism.


Stop fighting in your relationships. Whatever fights you have, put them down at the end of the day before you go to sleep.

Do not hold a grudge. Doing this is part of your ego and it is not good. Holding onto hurt will only cause hurt in the end and you are better than that.

Learn to love each other and whatever fights you have, let them go. Learn to forgive and forget. Make this a choice.


Set goals with your partner. This will help you to be closer and to grow together.

Learn to set new goals all the time and when you finish this together, celebrate it. This will inspire you to set more goals and to reach them.

Goals can help you find your way and share things together.


You were not born to love everyone so stop thinking that people should have to love you. Learn to love and when you learn to love you will learn to listen and you will learn how to fight with them and learn to make them smile and learn what their language is.

Stop waiting for someone to love you and learn to build on love.


Being vulnerable is scary but you have to take chances if you love someone. Learn to bond with your partner and be more open. When you open up, they will open up and this will get rid of fear and doubts.

When you are vulnerable, it shows someone how much you love and trust them.

Lip Service

Sex is something that makes everyone vulnerable, but it also leads to laughter and fun. When you are having sex, it means you want to be one and you will share this bonding love and develop your heart.

Sex is about two people being vulnerable with each other and sharing themselves. Do not be fearful of sex and let someone accept you for who you are.

What It’s Not About

Your relationship is not about what you wear, what you drive and who you will become. It is not about you look or how perfect you are.

Love is about celebrating your mistakes and flaws and it is about being the best person you can be. Love is imperfect and free. When you find that person that you love, make sure they love you for who you are, and you love them for who they are.

Love should have no judgment.

Newton’s Law

Newton says that when an object is resting it will not move unless something moves it. This should apply to your relationship too.

If you do nothing in a relationship, you will be stuck there. Before you lose what, you have, learn to act on your relationship and take notice of the small things you accomplish together. Be victorious together and see that your relationship can be strong.

Learn to work together and deepen the bond and connection you have with your partner and you will be closer to them than ever before.

On and Off Again Relationships

Do you feel like your relationship is going great and then all of a sudden you have the urge to break up with them? Then a couple of days later, you decide to get back together?

On and off relationships mean that there are problems that are not solvable. When you find that you have the same issues over and over again, it means that you or your partner are not willing to compromise and it can be a good time for the relationship to come to a real end.

If you want to have a future with your partner, you should not have to be in a relationship where things are disrespectful or where things are unstable or uncertain.

If you are in a relationship right now and you wonder if you should move forward or let them go, you have to figure out what the relationship means to you and figure out if you are willing to take advice from others or if you are just going to deal with the on and off relationship.


One of the reasons that most people stay in a relationship that doesn’t work is because they are afraid of being alone. They might stay with their partner because they are afraid that any other relationship would be the same.

They might see their future in a different version of what they are in and so they stay with their partner for all the wrong reasons.

If you get together, it will seem that it would be easier than just starting over and this is a stigma that many people seem to face.

If you are stuck in a toxic relationship, this is something that you can allow yourself to get stuck in.

Maybe you have been together with someone for years and you feel that if you are fighting or not getting alone, it is still too hard to leave.


The key to any good relationship is to communicate. You have to be able to talk and figure out if you are a good match for your partner.

Think about the issues that you are facing and if they are too many or too much, maybe saying goodbye is the best idea.

If you have a boyfriend that has completely different values or the ideas of the future than you, settling down and getting married might not be the goal that you want to set.

Being to the point where you are sick and tired of the fighting might push you to let things go and to realize that neither of you are willing to compromise.

Having a relationship only for sex can cause you to question if you are making bad choices. If he cannot support, you or make you happy then you will realize that things will not work out well and you can choose to walk away.

Gut Feeling

Pay attention to what your gut is telling you and if your gut tells you it is time to walk away, do it. DO not ignore your gut and do not settle. Stop investing your life for people that are not willing to invest back to you.

When you find love and do not expect it, it can be a great thing. You will see that your life can work out and your relationship can be strong.

Learn to be on the same page with the person you want to date and if things do not feel real or feel off, get away while you can. Do not be with someone because you feel better than being alone.

If you feel that things are not going in the direction you want them to, it is probably best to move on in your relationship.

Standing Up for Who You Are

Being comfortable does not make a relationship great. When you find out that your communication with your partner is not what you thought, it can cause you to look differently on your relationship.

You should never settle in a toxic relationship and you need to understand that being familiar does not always make a relationship happy.

Whatever you need in your life can come to you, but you have to get out of relationships that are unhealthy and depressing. When you learn the importance of seeing your worth, you will realize that you can stand up for yourself and find someone that makes you feel loved and special.

Even if you have dated someone for a long time, learn to move forward or to hold on but do not settle for an on and off again relationship. Even if you are sad to let them go, it can be the best thing for you.


Each relationship is going to be different and it is important to make sure that you have goals to work towards. Make sure that you are with someone that makes you happy and makes you feel safe and if not, learn to say goodbye and move forward in your life.

Dating a Friend

Relationships are hard and when a friendship begins to be a romance, this can be a hard and tricky change for you and your partner. When you have a friendship that is on the line, dating your friend that you have known for years can be one of the best things ever, but it can also be the scariest things ever.

Deciding if you are going to date might be the hardest thing. You might be worried that they will not return your feelings or that you will lose your best friend in the process.

Even though none of us know the future, some people believe that it is possible to date a friend but if they do not return your love, you can still salvage the friendship.

There are always going to be challenges in dating and this can be even more challenging when you are dating a friend. Sometimes, some believe that when you want to fall in love, nothing is better than being more than friends.

Pros and Cons of Dating a Friend

Before you tell your friend that you love them, you have to figure out all of the outcomes that could happen. You might feel that being romantically involved with your friend is not worth it because it could end with hard feelings.

Or if you decide to pursue it, make sure that you are accepting of the different outcomes that could happen and you take a chance that they might not like you beyond a friend.

Signs They are Interested

You can tell if someone is interested or has feelings for you and even if you think someone is attracted to you, make sure that you are making the right decision before you make a move.

If you have been friends with someone for a long time, make sure that your partner is really interested in you.

Here are some signs that he might be into you:

  • They want to spend more time with you than with their friends.
  • They are intimate in their details.
  • They want to meet the family.
  • They get jealous of other people.
  • They flirt.
  • They touch or make eye contact.


Telling your crush your feelings can cause them to be caught off guard and can cause there to be pressure. Make sure that you are going to stay friends no matter what. If you are going to try to take things to the next level, tell your friend that you just want to share what you are feeling and you do not expect them to feel the same.

Your friend deserves to have time to think things over. Give them time and space to figure out what they want and do not be mad at them if they tell you no.

Turned Down

One of the worst things that can happen is if your crush does not feel the same about you. Maybe they will tell you that they just want to be friends and they just love hanging out.


There are going to be challenges in all relationships and friends first couples might have more hurdles.

Being a great friend can mean that there are strong feelings but if you like them and they are mutual in their feelings, they can date and there might be romance involved. The problem is, what if attraction is missing and what if you later realize that you are not in love with them, but you just wanted to be with them because you enjoyed them.

Breakups are hard and breaking up with someone that was a close friend can feel like you have lost everything. It can be harder and more emotional. When you realize you do not love them, it can break their heart and be one of the hardest things you ever have to say.

It is possible to stay friends after a breakup but once you were friends and you dated, things will never be the same and it will be hard to keep the friendship together after you break up.

If he or she begins to date someone new, this an make it even harder because they have to share the hard relationship part with each other, and it will feel like you have lost a friend and a lover.

Best Case

On the other side, if your friend becomes your partner and you end up having a long-term relationship, what could be better.

Going from friends to romance can have great benefits such as you always being honest with each other, the trust that comes with being friends and learning to see each other in different lights. You already know them as your friend and now you get to know them more.

Transform Your Relationship

Conflict happens in many conversations and you can tell that there is going to be conflict almost right when someone starts to talk. When people are married, most of the time when divorces happen it happens because of arguments and conflicts that people cannot seem to get past.

It seems that most of the conversations start the same and end up in a fight. When you start a conversation aware of what you are going to say or if you decide that you are going to allow the emotions of your partner or your own emotions to trigger you to be defensive, it can cause conflicts with your partner.

When you are aware of what you are feeling when you talk to someone, you allow there to be a softer way to communicate. This can cause you to have a more intimate connection.

There are times when you feel that you are going to have a conversation and it is going to be biased and cause you to be against them in the conversation. When you have this bias, you will see that you will react to something and often not even realize the strong response that you are having. Once you realize this is happening, you can change the way that you talk to your partner.

First, being gentle is a way that you can soften the conversation from the beginning. You have to learn to be receptive and to share what you are feeling with an open area that you can say what you need to each other. You can state your perspective, but you also have to learn to accept what your partner is saying without blaming them or making them feel wrong because of their point of view.

When you approach a conversation in a hurry or being upset, it can cause you to be defensive and protective and this does not allow you to have empathy for other people or to hear what they want to say to you.

Approaching a conversation aggressively will make you feel upset and will put you and your partner in the defensive mode and cause them not to be able to hear what you or they are trying to say.

You have to learn to stop being blunt and stop approaching conflict in a way that the conversation will spiral out of control. Doing this will make your partner feel like you are blaming them or them being afraid to talk to you because they don’t know how you will react.

Conversations that have a lot of tension will cause there to be an immediate disconnect instead of a connection that can leave you feeling loved and heard. We have to decide what kind of cycle we are going to have when we decide to converse with people. Will you leave them feeling loved and protected or unloved and not valued?

No matter what kind of conversation you are having, you need to have a good intention. Look inside of yourself and figure out what you are doing wrong and figure out how to approach communication in the right way. Put your heart into the conversation and have patience and be aware as to how you are making the other person feel. Is your conversation coming from your heart? If the answer is no, this can lead to disagreements.

Change the way that you talk to people and this can make your relationship different. There are ways that you can soften yourself so that your relationship can be stronger.


Be aware of what you are feeling before you start talking to your partner. Make sure you are not having conversations where you are accusing them or if it is a touchy topic, be careful how you react.

Being aware is the key to being able to focus on what you are saying and being aware of what your heart is feeling. If you start talking and you realize you are feeling in a bad mood or you are angry, this is not the best time to talk to your partner.

Imagine the times where you have talked to someone and you have acted aggressively or angrily because you did not create a safe space to talk and you were not able to handle your emotions well. When you are aware of what you are doing, you will be aware of when the right time to talk is.

Slow Down

One reason that conflicts come in communication is because the conversation moves too fast. When you are reacting in this way, it can cause you not to be able to fix the problem. Even though you feel like you are responding from the right place in your heart, you have to make sure that you and your partner are being heard.

Slow down and figure out what you are really feeling. Explore your feelings inside and do not hide your emotions even when they are upsetting. Let your partner know what you are feeling and identify if you are happy, sad or even mad.

When you slow down, you allow your mind to connect with your body and you learn to express yourself without being so vulnerable. This can cause you not to accuse and to share your emotions in a compassionate and connected way.


Sometimes when we argue we think we are solving problems. We cannot do this if we do not understand things from our partners point of view. We do not always have to explain ourselves but sometimes we need to step back and allow our partner to be heard.

Make sure you are actively listening to what they are trying to tell you, and this can build trust and intimacy in your relationship. Do not interrupt and do not explain things, just allow them to talk.

When they finish speaking, repeat what they are sharing with you and let them know you heard them. Your partner wants to know that you are connected with them and this can bring a level of intimacy that you may not have had in the past.


These practices will help to save you from arguing and having terrible conversations. Learn to connect with your partner and to feel intimate with them both in body and in conversation. This can be impactful in your relationship and can allow there to be a beauty when you speak and communicate with each other.