What to Do if Your Ex Keeps Texting You

Have you recently broken up with your ex but then out of nowhere they begin to text you? Maybe you want to respond but then you think of all of the good reasons why you broke up in the first place. You might wonder, “should I be talking to my ex?” Here are some ways to handle this if it is happening to you.

Should I Text Them Back?

Ignoring people is not nice but you need to figure out why your ex is trying to talk to you and not forget why you broke up in the first place.

If you have been friendly with each other and you have talked to them regularly then it is fine to text them back. People sometimes break up and choose to stay friends and if you are friends, it is okay that you text them back to see what is going on in their world.

When you choose to stay friends, make sure that your conversations are friendly and not romantic or sexual. You have to decide if you are going to text them back and remember that there is a difference talking to a friend than there is a romantic partner.

Being with someone means that you are making weekend plans, or you are trying to make a way to see each other but as an ex, the texting should never be like sexting.

On the other hand, though, if you and your ex are not being friends then you should not have any reason to text them back if they text you.

Abusive Texting

If your ex has been abusing you mentally, physically, sexually, or even emotionally, you need to stay away from them. You need to stay out of abusive relationships and make sure that you are out of it forever. An abusive ex that begins to text you is one that is wanting to abuse you even more and you need to even go as far as to block them.

When your ex that was abusive starts texting you, chances are that they want to get back with you. This is a situation that you need to avoid. No matter how sorry they say they are or how much they say that they have changed, an abuser will often go back to abusing.

Now, if your ex went through significant counseling and different treatments to stop abusing and they text you, you might want to read what they have said but you still probably need to keep them out of your life.

If you have a child together, this can be a different situation and you will need to talk to your ex about visitation or about a connection with your child. If the conversation has to go back and forth or if he is trying to talk about other things, he probably is trying to get back together, and you need to be strong and keep your head straight.

It is often best to get someone to come and be a mediator when you have a child together. This will help you to not have to have much contact with your ex and they can help you to know issues with meeting times or other things such as:

  • If you have a sick child.
  • If your child misbehaved.
  • If homework has to be completed.
  • If a time to meet has to be changed.

Ex Text to Get Back Together

If you and your ex have started texting back and forth and they tell you that they miss you, here are some things you need to consider before you choose to have real conversations:

  • Why did you break up?
  • Was someone in the relationship unfaithful to the other?
  • Did they want kids, and you didn’t or vice versa?
  • Did you want to get married and they didn’t or vice versa?
  • Was there things outside of the relationship that caused it to be hard to stay together?

There can be many reasons that people do not stay together, and the question is what caused the relationship to fail and why. You need to make sure that both of you are happy.

Communicating with your ex in text or even on phone calls can be a place that makes you or your ex vulnerable. They might miss you if you were friends at first and maybe they miss you just like you miss them. Your ex might want to see if you have met someone new and moved on or maybe they are just looking for a way to close this part of their life.

If your ex has been drinking, they might be wanting you to come over for a booty call and it is best for you to ignore this kind of text and not to answer till the next day if ever.

Whatever you choose, you need to know what you want out of this relationship before you ever decide to talk to them. Then, you need to make sure that you know what their intentions are so that you don’t get hurt along the way.

Mixed Signals

If you and your ex have been texting b ack and forth you need to be straight with what you want. You can respond to the text that they send you but make sure that you are not leading them on or giving them mixed signals. If you are in a relationship with someone new, tell them.

You never want to lead on your ex and make them think that you are going to get back together. If they want to make up and they still want to be with you, but you do not want that, you need to stop texting them right away.

If your ex tells you that they miss you or they missed seeing your smile, you need to make sure that you tell them that you are with someone and that you have moved on.

When your ex-texts you and tells you that they heard “our” song on the radio, you need to stop the conversation immediately. It shows your ex is thinking about you and wants to get back together. If you don’t want this, you need to tell them that the relationship is over and that you have moved on and that they also need to move on.

If your ex tells you that they made a mistake breaking up with you then you need to listen to their regrets but if you have moved on, you need to talk about the reasons that you broke up and then hang up after a brief discussion.

Therapy and Breaking Up

Most people can break up with someone and move on with their life after a short while. If you feel that you are not able to move on and you are dealing with depression or hard emotions, you might want to find a therapist or a counselor to talk to.

When you break up with someone, it will be hard, but it is something that you can work through. Breaking up is often times the result of unhappiness and you need to remember why you broke up in the first place and always stand your ground.

Signs of Being in a Karmic Relationship

Karmic relationships are some of the most powerful connections that we can make. These relationships hit hard and fast and at first glance, they may leave us doubting ourselves and somewhat off balance. All relationships that we enter into can teach us about ourselves, but the intensity of a karmic relationship is able to do as much harm as good. The direction such a relationship will take depends on how we approach and navigate it and how quickly we realize it is a karmic relationship.

The twofold reason we enter a karmic relationship is to break the cycle of bad behavior collected from previous lives and to learn how to heal damage carried over so we can move forward, unencumbered by the past. Many people confuse soulmates and karmic relationships, but they are very different. Karmic relationships are meant to teach you about others and the world while soulmates teach you your worth. Sometimes, we need to learn the lessons, but other times our partner is the one who is learning a lesson.

Signs of a Karmic Relationship

  • An overwhelming and immediate connection – The attraction cannot be denied even though you may tell yourself to take things slowly. It is impossible to slow down.
  • No respect of boundaries – Their needs come first and this often means disregarding your limits, needs, and boundaries. No matter how often you tell them or try to, they will continue to disrespect boundaries you have set.
  • Co-Dependent tendencies – Codependency is when one partner needs the other who in turn needs to be needed. This creates a damaging cycle that is highly difficult to break.
  • One-sided – The energy balance will always be inequitable with one side giving of themselves while the other constantly takes.
  • Short relationship – Due to the high energy and connection, the relationships only last for a short time periods, but are highly intense from the start to finish.
  • Feels like an addiction – Karmic relationships create adrenaline and dopamine rushes that can be addicting. The constant push and pull creates a positive feedback loop that is almost impossible to walk away from.
  • Hot and cold relationship – The relationship will be tumultuous at best with an on again, off again design that keeps repeating. You know you need to break away and can pull away for a bit, but you are always pulled back in to start all over again.
  • Control freaks, stubbornness – In a karmic relationship, it is their way or the highway. They will not take any input you give seriously and will make you feel your viewpoint is unwanted or not respected.

Walking Away

As with any form of toxic relationship, the first step to walking away is recognizing what is happening. Often, outsiders can see the truth long before you are willing. Listen to loved ones as they express concerns. No one likes to hear they made a poor choice, but if you are hearing it from many directions means you need to listen. If it is from more than one source then it is not just lack of understanding, but something you need to look at objectively. You need to see yourself as worth being treated with love and respect. Recognize you are learning some important lessons and will grow and thrive, but it is time to step away. Remember, love should enhance our lives, not detract from it. Being in love is a great life experience so make sure it is an equal love that can last a lifetime.

Understanding Sexual Bondage

Our suffering is caused by our desire to cling onto something.  If we fall to release the grip, it will eventually suffocate us or we may harm another.  Our anxiety stems from unresolved threats that seek to sabotage us.  We don’t want to let go of anything for fear it may never come back.  However, nothing is permanent, let alone relationships.  We must stop defining ourselves by the company we keep for our concept of happiness or longevity.

We have become defensive due to the seeds of doubts taking hold in the soil of our psyche.  We see the plants have taken root and now bearing fruits of uncertainty.  What once may have thrilled us now has become boring and rote.  This familiarity unsettles us and drives us to chase new experiences despite any costs.  Desire occurs before anxiety, but uncontrolled desire will fluctuate suddenly without any type of approval or consent.  Notice if you feel the urge to control a person or situation.  Can you sense how misery is creeping in as you sense a shift in perspective or demands?  This is because your foundation has eroded in a state of bitterness, resentment, shame or regret.

When you enable another person to distort your existence by their desire, so too will disappointment amplify your illusions.  You may begin to place more credence on what others say while demeaning your inclinations thus creating a state of self-induced suffering.  This suffering arises because of the urge to escape the situation by clinging to or possessing a person or object.  We worry this person may leave or think less of us.  Don’t let this burden take root within yourself.  No one is responsible for our happiness, but ourselves.

We must walk through life on our terms.  We choose with whom to surround ourselves, but our actions are ours alone!  We can only live for us and no one else.  Nor can we assume anyone else’s journey or intentions.  We have the Divine gift of freedom and freewill.  We don’t need anyone but ourselves to validate our existence.

Happiness is transient, but created by our own lived experiences.  Much like the many phases of the moon, so too do our emotions and mood color our perspective.  Its ok to be on an emotional rollercoaster at times, but this has no implications from anyone else, but our innermost thoughts and feelings.  We create our reality.  Sure, we desire to be loved and appreciated, but we first must love and validate ourselves.  Our deepest desire to crave noting.  Only this moment can fully sustain us without any distortion.  We yearn not so much to be loved as to love fully, unconditionally, and unwavering for all things in all ways to everyone.  Our love is not discriminatory to fit a particular type of person or situation.

Humans are intrinsically happy until we are conditioned to believe that we are not satisfied.  Then our egos take over and a sense of competition arises, “Who can become the happiest within the quickest period of time?”  This pattern has become engrained in us for generations through a blend of environmental, biological, cultural, and societal transmissions.  How can we best align our lives to fit our goals if we are constantly listening to the chatter from others?

From where do our perceptions of happiness and wants arise?  Why must be color ourselves by crayon of expectations from others?  We are not what and who we think we are!  Clinging to outdating thinking of self ensure we crave unrealistic expectations and waste both vital life energy and time.  Instead, we must see ourselves as a constantly evolving being of Divine love and goodness.

Sexuality is a sacred and sensual act that work to pierce into the unknown.  Reality holds an unwavering sanctified mirror of ourselves in totality.  We only need to rely on ourselves and don’t need external aid.  When we share our spiritual and sensual essence with another it is done purely and without expectations.

Sexual chemistry may be a base rung on the ladder of attraction.  Yet, sexual attraction can quickly alter into sexual bondage subconsciously.  Sexual bondage is a mean to escape the union from and to yourself.  We must see it more as a primal force of our carnal form.  As humans, we must allow ourselves to enjoy sex without anxiety, but work to prevent being consumed by its concept.  Should we choose to remain ambivalent to impeding the soul’s desire for communing with another’s presence and physical body we are actually amplifying our feels of being isolated and thus fearful of perceived clinginess or codependency.

20 Reasons to Take a Break from Dating Men

It can be frustrating when you have been single for a while. You might be wondering why you are bothering trying to date at all. Perhaps this is exactly what you need in this moment.

Here are 20 reason it can be helpful to step back from dating men for a bit:

1. No pressure about your first date
2. No frustrations about constant dating app notifications from guys who only use “hey” as a message.
3. More time to catch up on your favorite shows or movies with your favorite comfort meal
4. You have more time to spend with friends
5. You can refine your financial planning and investment strategies to help get rich and live life on your terms
6. You have a fresh perspective when one of your friends is dealing with guy drama, because you aren’t having to deal with boyfriend drama of your own.
7. You can be sincerely happy when a friend gets excited about the new guy they are dating because you aren’t constantly wondering when that type of joy will find you.
8. When you see a cute guy, you can just see him for him, rather than getting flustered if he might be your type or not.
9. When you meet a funny and smart guy, you can be focused on becoming his friend first rather than wondering what type of person he’s most attracted to.
10. You are finding the idea of arrange marriage more palatable suddenly.
11. Romantic comedies are a turnoff.
12. You find all the dating advice to be overrated and unwanted.
13. You relish not having anyone ask you about your love life anymore.
14. You enjoy having all your living space to yourself.
15. You don’t care about your acne or weight anymore.
16. If you want kids, you are becoming more open to adoption or surrogacy.
17. You realize you don’t need a man to make you happy.
18. You understand that not all marriage or relationships are happy ones.
19. You enjoy being able to talk to your loved ones about things other than the dating scene.
20. You find your vibrator more satisfying than many of your past partners.

By taking a break from dating men you can realize how efficiently you can satisfying your own wants, needs, and dreams.

What is the Difference Between Cheating and Lusting?

People sometimes cheat and this can be hurtful to the relationship, but people always have their own reasons when they cheat. There are different definitions of cheating for couples where some feel that only physical cheating is cheating while others feel that emotional cheating also counts.

Cheating no matter what kind can be hurtful but there is a difference between cheatings because of love and cheating because of lust, according to many. But why does this even matter?

The difference between cheating for lust means that a person has a physical attraction to someone. This is a physical reaction to something whereas cheating because of love is an emotional desire that they want with that person.

Cheating with your partner doesn’t always mean that you no longer love your partner, but sometimes people that cheat still stay connected to the person that they love.

A person that cheats for love is not getting the connection and the bond with their partner and they are not having their emotions fulfilled.

There is a difference between both kinds of cheating, obviously, but here are some differences between lust cheating and love cheating.

Love and Plans

If you have a partner that is cheating because of emotions, they are doing this in a planned way. They will make plans with their other partner and they will do this because they are not just meeting to have their physical body pleased but it goes deeper.

They will make dates and plans when they want to cheat for love.

Love and Communication

You cannot love someone without having an emotional connection with them. If someone is going to build intimacy in their emotions, they have to communicate more. Someone that is cheating for love will communicate and will form an attachment with the person they are cheating with.

This often means they feel that they aren’t getting the emotional needs met at home.

Love and Building

Building a connection with someone takes time. You have to be comfortable with the person enough to be with them. When someone is cheating based on love, they will be with that person longer because they are not just wanting sex but something more.

Lust and Behavior

A person that is cheating because of lust will go out to have their physical body satisfied. This behavior is easier to control because they don’t have feelings of emotions attached. They just have a passion, and it is easier to control than the emotional cheating.

Love and Choice

If you are cheating, you are doing this by choice. You might love or lust with someone but falling in love is not a choice, but cheating is. If you find someone in your life that you are attracted to, you make the next choice of what to do next.

Emotional cheating can sometimes come out of nowhere because you get close to people but if you have a physical cheating time, this is by choice.

Lust and Risks

Cheating is going to be something that you risk. Doing this can hurt your life and your family and when you go out and have sex with someone, it can lead to sexual disease and pregnancies. This is something that cheaters often do because they have the opportunity to cheat, and it isn’t normally planned.

Love and Getting Over it

When you cheat because of love, you will want to be with that person no matter what. This will be something hard to get over because you will desire this person.

Cheating because of lust is something that you can get over and you can have a one-night stand but when it is motivated by love, you attach to this person and it holds you captive. You can end a physical affair with someone but ending an emotional affair is going to be hard because you fall in love with them.


Cheating is cheating no matter what people define it as. If you are cheating and you want to be with your partner, you need to figure out how to overcome these emotions and feelings and let go of your cheating ways.

Dealing with Someone that Doesn’t Love you Back

Loving someone that doesn’t love you back can be painful. Maybe it was someone that you broke up with or a friend that you had benefits with and then you got your feelings in the way.

No matter who it was that made you feel this way, it is hard for someone when you realize that someone doesn’t love you the way that you love them.

Not everyone is going to love you and return the love to you that you show them. You might wonder why unrequited love even happens.

Sometimes unrequited love happens because we give our heart to people and we become attached easier than others. Do you ever feel secure in your relationship or are you one that is always expecting it to end?

When people study relationships, those that are in relationships that are anxious and worried are more likely to fall in love with people that don’t love them back. These people try to avoid love because they don’t want to deal with someone not feeling the same about them. They love the idea of romance, but they avoid it.

People that have secure attachment styles more than likely do not experience unrequited love.

The thing is attachment styles aren’t the only things that you need to pay attention to. You will experience this kind of love when you only fall in love with the idea of love. When you have emotions that are overwhelming to you and you are looking for someone to love you, your innocent crush can turn you into loving someone that doesn’t love you back.

Having unrequited love is sucky and the best thing to do is to do your best to move past it. Try to find happiness and not let your heart be broken.

Figure Out What You Want

One of the best ways to get over someone not loving you back is to figure out why you wanted to be in the relationship from the beginning. Are you in a relationship because you don’t want to be alone, or do you really love them?

Consider how you feel and if this person is valuable to you. Figure out why you wanted to be in that relationship. If you really love yourself, you will see that it is easier to make decisions on who to love.

Be Sad

You have to give yourself time to get over someone that has broken your heart. Even if you prematurely thought that they would love you, give yourself time to be sad.

Do not just be positive because that is what people want from you. Feel your feelings and then work through them and let them go. Give yourself time to be sad and as soon as you are over it, move on.

Date Again

Go out and keep dating other people. Once you are rejected, you might be afraid of that happening again but learn to move on. Get over someone not loving you and find someone that will.

You can have a desire to be with someone that will actually return love to you.

Finding the One

Having someone to not love you back is very hard, but it means you haven’t found the one for you yet. The problem isn’t you; the problem is that the person wasn’t ready and that you got serious too fast.

Everything that you do is something that has to be for you. Learn to move forward and let the future bring you the perfect one for you.

Look at Your Interactions

Pay attention to what happened with this person and figure out when you realized that they weren’t returning love to you. The moment that you can recognize what went wrong in your interactions, you can learn from this.

Do not feel ashamed of yourself for not catching this faster but learn to learn from it and when you move into a new relationship, be aware of what happened so it doesn’t happen again.

Get to Know Them

Take time to get to know everything about the person you like. Know their good, bad, and ugly sides. Sometimes people see the best in someone, and they forget to look at the other parts.

No one is perfect and when you are able to see their faults, you can realize that you can be grounded and see things realistically. This will let you see that they weren’t who you wanted anyways.

Allow Yourself to Love

Take pride in being able to love. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and don’t be mad that you are. It is hard to go through rejection but just be thankful that you have been able to get over it and move on.

You will never find love if you give up when you get your heart broken. Learn to value love and let people come to you that cherish you.

Loving someone that doesn’t love you back can make you feel bad about who you are. There is no reason that you should ever feel that way. No matter what the reasons are, learn to recognize that having unrequited love can be amazing because it shows you what kind of love you can give.

Your love comes from a place where you are not selfish and where you put others first. This can make you happy and help you to feel good in your heart. Never be afraid to love someone and you will see that you will meet the perfect person when the time is right.

What Happens When You Want an Emotionally Unavailable Man to Fall for You?

Is there a man in your life that is emotionally unavailable to you? Do you wonder if you can fix them and make them available to you? Or maybe you wonder if you should break up with them and find someone else to love.

People cannot help who they fall in love with and if you have found that you are with a man that is emotionally unavailable to you, what can you do about it? How can you make him really love you? This guy is going to be someone that is not available to you because he has issues that are personal and strong in his life.

Maybe you wonder if you give him all of the love that you have that he will change. You might want him to commit to you and you want to show him love so that he can love you back deeply.

No matter how much you have tried to get him to fall in love with you, you probably feel that you will never have the answers that you need. You might feel that you will never get the answer that you want in your life.

How do you deal with someone that is emotionally unavailable to you? What can you do in your life in order to make him really love you? Will he ever be able to fully commit to you or will it be this way forever?

Are you dating someone that is emotionally unavailable to you? You know that you like him and maybe even love him but even though he seems to like you back, he doesn’t really seem like he will ever commit to you. He always leaves you feeling confused about what he is feeling and thinking.

What Can You Do?

When you love a man that is emotionally unavailable to you, it can wear you out. You might give him all that you have in your life but feel that he is giving you nothing in return. Are you ever going to be able to make him fall in love with you or is the relationship just a lost cause?

Maybe you keep asking the same things over and over again and you wonder why you fell in love with him in the first place. Maybe you feel that there is no hope and that you have no real possibility of him ever loving you.

There are some things that you might be able to do to make him fall in love with you. It is hard to get an emotionally unavailable guy to fall in love with you but here are some things you can try.

Learn to Be Patient with Him

Even though you feel that you have been patient, committing when you are emotionally unavailable can be hard. It can scare him and cause him to feel that he is not able to give you what he wants.

Changing this kind of person is really hard and chances are that he has some personal issues that he hasn’t dealt with from his past. You will have to be very patient if you want to wait for him to grow and change.

You need to know that if this is going to work out for you, you also have to wait and not push him or force him to be what you want.


A person with personal issues sometimes has a hard time trusting other. An emotionally unavailable guy will have a hard time trusting people and you have to learn to let him trust you. If you want him to commit to you, take time to make him feel safe and to build up your trust with him.

Stop trying to push him into a relationship and take more time to build up your trust with him first. Focus on your relationship and on letting him grow.

Even if you do have a future with this guy, you need to make sure that you aren’t being pushy or else you will stop your chances of being with him. You may even cause him to run from you.

If you want him to be connected to you emotionally, you have to be his friend and give him a reason to trust you and believe in you.

He has to have time to learn who you are and to learn that you are there to help him and to be there for him. He wants to bond with you, and this has to be an emotional bond. Let him have time to get to know you and to open up to you.

Remember that he is a guy that needs to have someone to trust and if he is scared to commit to you then you can scare him off if you are too pushy. Give him freedom in his life until he is ready.

He has to learn that he can really trust you and believe in you. You have to let him see that he can trust you and tell you the truth. You need to take time with him.

If you want to build a bond with him, you have to change and grow too. You have to let him commit to you and let him feel that he cannot live without you.


Even if you want him to love you fast and commit tot you, you cannot pressure him. Do not label your relationship and just be patient.

You cannot force someone to be available to you. If you and he have the same desires, you will be able to connect but if you are not able to find this connection, it might scare him away if you talk about being committed.

If you have fallen for a guy that is not emotionally available for you, you will have to figure out to give him time and not to pressure him. If you do this, you will scare him away and you will have to take things slow.

No matter how much you want him to be with you, putting pressure on him will drive him away. It will cause you not to be able to be together.

Things do not always happen how you hope that they will. If he goes further away form you then you will be in a situation where he will play games and you will have to decide what you want.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be committed to someone that you love but you have to make sure that you are not pressuring him. Be careful what you do and what you say to him.

Do not keep talking about the future to see how he will react but do not pressure him in anything if you want him to get closer to you.

Do not act like you are wanting to pressure or force him and make sure that you are not being desperate.

Future Life Together

If you are with a guy that is not emotionally available to you, you cannot mention the future. Learn to enjoy time in the now and do not scare him or make him afraid to be closer to you.

Men have a hard time dealing with issues form their past and if you want to have a future with him, you have to stop trying to push this. Give him time and live in the moment.

Even if you want this guy in your life and to commit to you, stop mentioning it. Do not tell him what you want in the future and have fun together now.

If you are always talking about the future with him, it might scare him away if he isn’t ready to commit to you yet.

You know where he is at this point and time but if you want to see him change in the future, you have to let him have time. Be clear with what you want and if you feel that you need to leave, do it.

The best thing to do now is to take things day to day. Have fun together and enjoy each other.

Can They Become Available to You?

An emotionally unavailable man can become available to you if you are patient and understanding. Start by being friends and then focus on having fun together.

How Can You Tell if He Likes You?

If you are with this kind of guy, you will know he likes you if he is honest with you and if he opens up to you.

Having a Relationship

If you want to have a serious relationship with an emotionally unavailable man, you have to take time and be patient. You have to let him figure out what is going on in his life.

How to Deal with This Situation

You must learn to be patient and you need to make sure that you do not pressure your man or rush him into things.

Talking to Him

Talking to an emotionally unavailable guy might be hard but you have to let him learn to trust you and to know who you are.


If you want to be with a guy that is not emotionally available to you, you have to be patient and you have to make sure that you aren’t rushing things. Take time and find out what you and he really want in life.

What to Do When You Are Dealing with Narcissists and Codependent People

Relationships can be hard and when you are dealing with someone that is a narcissist or someone that is codependent, your relationship can turn toxic.

This is the same saying as attracting opposites. But there is more that comes with someone that is codependent or a narcissist than many people realize.

Someone that is codependent will do whatever they can for people that they love. This can be unhealthy. And a narcissist will do whatever it takes for someone to go above and beyond for them.

Why do these two people attract to each other?

Where Do These Personalities Come From?

The term codependency is not a new term, but it has been proven that this can come from people that have upbringings that were unhealthy. This used to be a term that people would have for someone that was dating an alcoholic and were raised with emotional problems.

As research has shown, it is clear that anyone that comes from a dysfunctional family can be codependent. Codependency can happen in families that have:

  • Neglect
  • Abuse
  • Physical violence
  • Expectations that are too big
  • Blaming
  • Shaming
  • Hurting

Children that have to live in these kinds of families are overly stressed and they have dysfunction from their parents.

As the child gets older, they believe that they are part of the problem in their home. Sometimes the parents will even go as far as to blame them for things that aren’t even in their control.

When the child becomes an adult, they become codependent because they need someone to appreciate them and approve of them so that they can get rid of their guilt.


A narcissist is different than a codependent, but they are also somewhat the same. Sometimes their personalities will overlap, and it happens because of how they grew up such as:

  • Being abused or neglected.
  • Being criticized a lot.
  • Being overly adored by parents.
  • Living in cultural influences.

It is believed that if someone is overly valued that they begin to think that they deserve special treatment in all ways.

Parents that are always praising their children or encouraging them are often encouraging them to be narcissistic.

Then as the child gets older, they think that they are better than everyone and that social norms or rules don’t apply to them.

The child that is abused may become a victim and keep that mentality all of their lives because of how they were treated as a child.

Even though the two are different, they have similar dysfunctions that cause their actions.

Difference Between Narcissist and Codependent

The two terms are often used together but they actually can be quite different. Their differences will cause them often to connect and they will live happily while the honeymoon phase is in the relationship.

After that is over, it will end harshly.

Codependents always want to fix things and please others. They are people that want to be approved of and they will do whatever they can, even if it means giving up their own happiness, to make others show them love.

Traits of a Codependent Person

  • Low self-esteem.
  • People pleasers.
  • Deny their habits.
  • Have no boundaries.
  • Care too much for others.
  • Put themselves last.
  • Cannot communicate properly.
  • Do not stand up for themselves.
  • Want to be in control.

A codependent will want to have attention from others, and they will seek to make sure that they are being approved of. A mother that is a codependent will want to give her child everything that she can so that the child never has to go through hard things or pain.

This can cause her to let her child to grow up with her so that she can do everything for them, and they will never have to do for themselves.

A narcissist will love themselves more than they lover others. They are often:

  • Self-centered.
  • Have no compassion.
  • Lack sensitivity
  • Seekers of attention.
  • Confident
  • Arrogant
  • Selfish

These people often come across as being charming, but they are controlling and dangerous. If you are a victim of falling for one of these people, you will see that they are better than other people and that they will make your life miserable.

They will try to control you and manipulate you and you will end up in a toxic relationship.

Do They Have Commonalities?

Even though a narcissist and a codependent have some things in common, they are often opposites. A codependent will care a lot about others, but a narcissist will only care about themselves but both of them will want to:

  • Be in control.
  • Be ashamed of how they grew up.
  • Will have a hard time with boundaries.
  • Will deny they act a certain way.
  • Will need to be praised and validated.
  • They don’t care about self or understand it.

Sometimes it is thought that a narcissist will be a codependent to a point because they crave so much attention and always need someone to praise them and to make them feel important.

Sometimes a person can show traits of both personalities.

Why Do They Attract to Each Other?

Because they are similar, you would think that they wouldn’t attract but the truth is they do because they both need things the other will give them.

The narcissist needs someone that will praise them and do whatever they need even if it means giving up their happiness and the codependent needs someone to give them attention and to praise them.

Narcissists are great at manipulating people and being seductive. They will have people that are all around them because they will flatter them and praise them.

They are both known to play games and even if someone meets their needs at the beginning, they will eventually show their true selves, and this can cause the relationship to become toxic.

The codependent will be devastated, and they will do more to sacrifice themselves to try to make the narcissist happy, which will never happen.

Even though both of them might not be happy together, they will try to stay together so they don’t end up alone.

Can These Things be Treated?

Both of these situations can be treated with therapy. Sometimes it is hard to change, and you have to be committed but you can learn to manage these behaviors.

These conditions happened since childhood and so they play a big role in how someone acts as an adult.

If a narcissist chooses to go through psychotherapy, they can get the help that they need and learn how to cope and how to handle themselves towards change.

The strategies will never disappear, but they can learn how to work through them and how to change their ways. Even in therapy, the narcissist will struggle with how to be compassionate, and they have to learn how to have this kind of empathy.

Therapy can help such as:

  • Help them to understand other people.
  • Learn to understand emotions.
  • Understand self-esteem issues.
  • Work towards future goals.

Being a narcissist is a condition that cannot be treated by medicine and for someone to change, they have to be guided and form a therapy relationship.

The codependent can get help form the therapist by:

  • Changing and recognizing their habits.
  • Understanding where their issues come from.
  • Learn to love themselves.
  • Realize that they can have support.

Therapy for them can help them to have better relationships and to have more confidence in their life.

Dealing with Codependent Relationships

Everyone can have narcissistic or codependent traits here and there but if you feel that you are not able to make your relationships work, you might need to figure out what is going on in your life. If you are stuck in a cycle, you might have a hard time with love and intimacy.

Learning how to work out your issues is important and can help you to be more powerful. This can help you to have healthier relationships and fulfilling situations in your life.

If you feel that you are in a codependent or narcissistic relationship and it is dangerous for you, learn how to move on and to start your life somewhere else.

How to Find Your Soulmate

People are often confused about how a soulmate comes and what kind of role they will play in their life. This can cause them to have disappointment and to end up with their heart broken.

A soulmate connection is very strong, and they are close to each other. They are so strong that they come together, and they are acting like one soul. They do what other people cannot do for you and they are your other half.

A soulmate will help you to live your life and you will learn to sacrifice yourself and you will see that your connection will help you in your life.

Myths About Soulmates

There are some ideas that are not true about having a soulmate such as:

  • Your soulmate is your partner, not your leader. Some people think that the soulmate should be their partner, but the truth is they are your leader and will guide you.
  • Your soulmate is supposed to be your partner and not your assistant. Sometimes a soulmate is very dominate and will try to take control of the relationship. This can cause them to have an imbalance.
  • Your soulmate is supposed to make life easier and better. Some people think a soulmate will make your life easier, but the truth is that they do not make everything better. Sometimes the relationship is hard and can be disappointing.
  • Your soulmate is supposed to be part of your life and not the most important thing. There are some people that stop being who they are, and they allow their soulmate to be the complete part of their life and they make a million sacrificed for them that are not returned.

When you have a soulmate, it doesn’t mean that you will have the best life you have ever had. There are things that can go wrong. When things go wrong, you have to realize that you are the only one that can make you happy.

Making Yourself Happy

You have to stop depending on other people to make you happy because this will lead you down a bad life. You have to love your partner, but they should not be the ones that always have things while you are left out.


You have to learn to have real communication and to have value for your relationship. You need to share your opinions and tell people what you are all about.

Who You Are?

Never lose who you are. When this happens, you will no longer be able to figure out who you are, and you will only be who your partner says you are.


Let your life led you to the connection in your life. Let there be a place where you can get close to your soulmate while you live your own life.

Have open communication and make sure that you are strong in who you are before you try to find your soulmate.

Having Best Friend Love that Lasts Forever

Have you ever had someone in your life that you can look at and you know what the other person is saying? When you can communicate with someone without speaking, this can be an amazing thing.

When you look at someone and you know exactly what they are thinking or when they look at you, they can tell exactly what you are feeling and if you are being real with them.

They know when you are trying to be strong but really when you are breaking inside.

You can never trick this person because it seems like they know you even more than you know yourself.

Best Friend Equals Partner

You will have this person in your life for everything you do from eating wings to going to the club. You will have them when you need someone to stalk the guy you have your eye on and when you want to prank someone that you know. This is part of being best friends and having a great time with someone.

The things that you do together might be different but even when your friendship is changing, you will have a constant person on your side.


It never matters if they texted you first or if you texted them first or who made plans to get together.

This friend will never stand you up and they won’t cancel on you unless they have a reason that is beyond good.

You and your best friend will always make an effort to be together because you love to have fun together and that is why your relationship is so strong.

When You’re Crazy

Someone that is your best friend will come to you and will tell you when you are acting crazy or when you are being obsessive about some guy.

They know that you need them to do this for you and they know that you would do the same for them if they were being crazy.

They will always be there to listen to you when your life is full of drama, when your relationships are up and down and when you are overthinking things in your life.

This person will be there eating with you, buying junk food, and letting you cry on their shoulder when something is wrong or just when you are watching emotional movies. They will show up without telling you, bringing you beer or wine.

It never matters what you are feeling because they are there for you and you are there for them. Even when your days are sad or hurtful, your best friend will be there to cheer you up.

Soul Partner

You will have someone that will laugh and cry with you and someone that helps you to be grounded. It will be someone that you can share your ideas and goals with and sometimes a person that you can bicker with, without it lasting.

Sometimes you will fight with this person and you will sometimes say things that you should, hurting each other. You aren’t a perfect person and that what makes you who you are.

Bigger and Better

Everything you say comes from your heart and your best friend will let you get it all out. They will help you to open up about your mistakes and you will be able to talk to them about the mistakes that they have made.

You will be completely honest with each other and this will help your relationship to grow and to be better. Even when things are hard and moments are bad, you will have each other.

If you fight with your best friend, you will learn from the fight and you will get closer once everything is said and both of you can say you are sorry.


You will be happy about your best friend and their successes. They will be happy for you when you succeed. When you cry, they will feel sorry for you and they will not want you to be hurt.

They will not compare you with who they are, and they will never get jealous of good things that happen for you.

They won’t talk behind your back and if someone does, they will confront them.

Reaching Higher

You can be the best that you can be, and your best friend will keep reminding you of this. They will tell you about your worth and they will not let you lose hope in who you are.

If you are being lazy or you are refusing to meet your goals, your best friend will scold you and will not let you give up on yourself.

Best Friend Love

When you have a best friend in your life, this is someone that will be there for you forever. This person will always stick by your side and they will stay with you no matter what goes on.

This will be someone that shows you unconditional love and it is a love that lasts forever.