Author: FamilyAndRelationships Author

Things to Ask Before Getting Married

Getting married isn’t something little but it’s a really big deal. Of course, most people already know this! The thing is though, that marriage is not just having a wedding and this relationship is supposed to last your entire life.

Before jumping into marriage, you should discuss these marriage questions with your partner. Make sure that you know what you want and what they want. Even if some of the questions sound scary to answer, trust yourself and your partner to make the best choices.

Asking a Guy Before Marriage

Rather you are about to get married, or you are planning on being asked soon, here are some things you should ask your partner before you ever get married.

  • What Makes You Want to Get Married?

This is probably the most important question before you get married because you should know exactly what you want and why you want to get married. Rather this is having a safe and stable home or the commitment level making you desire it, figure out what holds value to your life.

Asking this kind of question will help you to deal with not just the wedding but the marriage that goes way beyond that.

  • What Happens if We Disagree?

Does the person that you are going to marry have a good temper or do they get into a rage when something goes wrong. Figure out how you will handle disagreements and how you will understand each other when this happens.

  • Do Your Parents Influence Your Marriage Ideas?

Some people allow their parents marriages to influence their marriage. They might see that their parents have been married for so many years or they might see that their parents have been through a nasty divorce.

Discuss how your parents relationships went and what you learned from them so that you can see how marriage is impacted by life.

  • What Kind of Wedding Are You Dreaming Of?

Discussing the kind of wedding is important because you will want to be in an agreement when you make this decision. Some will want something simple while others will want a lavish wedding.

  • Will the Families Be Involved?

There are many people that are close to their families and them being involved in the wedding and in life will be important. It is important to discuss your expectations in your own home and outside of the home.

How much will each other’s family be in your life each day? Will some of them do childcare and will some of them be coming to your house often? It can be hard to blend families sometimes and so the changes should be talked about.

  • Last Name Changes

Most people in traditional times wanted to take on their husbands last name but this has changed over time. You might decide to keep your own last name or to hyphenate it. You need to discuss this for yourself and your partner and what will happen if you have children.

  • Alone Time

Everyone needs to have their own space and alone time here and there. Talk about the small things like this so that you don’t end up feeling lonely or feeling shunned if your partner needs more time.

Find out what alone time means for you and your partner. For some it could mean them going away for a weekend but for others it could mean them just going on a small walk around the block.

  • What Won’t You Negotiate About?

What are things that you find are so important that you won’t negotiate about? These are important in some relationships. Maybe you have a tradition that you refuse to break, or you always have lunch with your dad on Fridays. Will you break these or are these for life?

  • What Happens When You Die?

Even though this sounds like something no one wants to talk about, discussing your funeral and other things is important before you get married. This means that you will know how your partner wants to be buried and where they want their body to go and the same for you. What do you want your funeral to look like?

  • Deal Breakers

Everyone has deal breakers that will end a relationship and you need to discuss these with your partner. Cheating should be a deal breaker and other giant things that could end with divorce. And what are you going to split if there is a divorce? Will you have custody arrangements if you have children?

  • What Does Cheating Look Like?

What constitutes as cheating for you? You might think porn is cheating while someone else might think that even a kiss is okay.

  • Who is Important in Your World?

Do you have kids and your family that is super important to you? Talk to your partner about who they are and who they have that is special to them.

  • Love Language

Everyone has their own love language, and this is how they express love. Figure out your love language and your partners so that you can meet each other’s needs. Learn to understand each other before you ever get started.

  • Dealing with Changes

If something changes, how will you deal with this together? This can cause a lot of stress in life and in relationships and how will you work through these things? Understand that if your partner deals with negative things in a bad way that you need to work through those things. You might need to work on your own even.

  • What is Hard to Talk About?

Figure out what is hard to talk about. Do you have a hard time talking about sex? Discuss these things so that you can be comfortable.

  • Social Media

You need to talk about what is allowed on social media. What do you want to share and what do you want to keep private?

  • What if You Are Falling Apart in the Relationship?

Sometimes relationships will struggle, and you should discuss what to do if the relationship is failing. Some things like sicknesses or having children or changes can put a strain on the relationship. Discuss how you will recover your intimacy if this happens.

  • Do You Feel Safe or Unsafe?

Ask about safety. Is there anything that you do that makes your partner feel unsafe like say you’re going to leave when you argue? Figure it out and discuss this so that you can fix it before you get married.

  • Where Do You Want to Talk About Things?

When hard things come up, there should be places where you can discuss them safely. Is this over dinner or is this at bedtime? You have to come up with your own answers to this. Even though life is busy, you probably shouldn’t be talking about negative things before you go to bed at night and you should never stay angry.

  • Do You Have Secrets?

Talk about anything that you aren’t telling your partner and vice versa. If there are secrets, then they need to be talked about before you move forward.

  • What Are Your Finances Like?

Talk about your finances and your bills before you ever decide to get married. This has to do with the wedding as well.

  • Are You Splitting Finances?

Will you choose to split things financially? Maybe you have bills or credit cards to your favorite stores. Will you have your partner put all their money in and pay for those or will there be things that you want to pay for on y our own.

Will you have a joint or a separate bank account? If you are going to have children, who will leave for maternity or paternity leave Will you combine your assets?

  • Are You Saving for Something Special?

Is there anything that you want to save for such as a long vacation or a new car? Talk about this and see about saving up for things together.

  • Are You Leaving a Will?

Is there a will that you are going to leave to your partner, or do they have one for you? You don’t want to leave things like this out because they can get confusing when someone dies.

  • Are You Spending or Saving?

Some people are great at saving while others like to spend everything that they have or live from check to check. You might be someone that saves for rainy days or emergencies. You need to talk about this and how to compromise.

  • What Is Your Sex Life Like?

This can be a hard conversation, but you should talk about this so that you can be happy with sex in your marriage. Is there anything you would like to try that is new? Be honest about your sexuality.

  • How Will You Handle Sex Drives?

Sometimes someone doesn’t want to have sex in the relationship for a while and sometimes someone wants to have a lot of sex. You need to discuss how to handle times like this and how to consider each other in the marriage.

  • Do You Want to Have Kids?

This is a big one. You should discuss having kids before you ever decide to get married. Don’t ever expect that your partner will change their mind. You might not agree on how many kids to have and that’s okay, but you need to make sure you both want or don’t want them.

  • How Will You Raise the Kids?

This is another big question, and you should talk about discipline and other things that you want to know when raising a family. Will you homeschool them or send them to school? Will you expect them to give up their evenings to spend with the children?

  • What If You Can’t Have Children?

Discuss if one of you aren’t able to have children. Will you try other things such as adoption or surrogacy?

  • What Do You Feel About Religion?

This can be a big question when there are two people that are from different religious backgrounds. If you have children, will they follow your religion or your partners religion?

  • Where Are You Living?

Discuss where you will live rather in the city or the country. What about how many rooms you want? Will you rent or buy a house? Remember if you have children in the future what will that look like?

  • Do You Have a Dream Home?

Everyone dreams of having a home someday. What are your dreams? To live in a mansion or to live in an apartment?

  • Who Will Do the Chores?

Will you negotiate on the chores and split them? What if one works full time and the other stays at home? Make sure that you consider all the factors.

  • What is Your Political Beliefs?

Do you have the same political beliefs? How will you talk about these things?

  • What About Holidays and Celebrations?

Will you celebrate Christmas and other holidays with certain traditions? Maybe you have a different upbringing, and you celebrate Hanukkah or Eid? You should compare what you do to celebrate and see how you will do it in your home.

Don’t forget birthdays and anniversaries. Will you buy gifts, or will you give cards?

  • What is Your Dream Vacation?

Do you have a dream vacation that you want to try someday? Even though this might not ever happen, talk about it with your partner and see if there is any compromise that can make it work.

  • What kind of Career Will You Have?

Career discussions are important because you need to be clear about what kind of job you are going to have and how much working means to you. Maybe you don’t want to not work, and this is important as well.

Be clear about your job if you love it and discuss how much work will be done at work and at home.

  • Do You Want Pets?

Even though this can be a little question, if you love dogs and your partner is allergic to them, this should be talked about.

  • What Do You Want to Do When You Retire?

When your partner retires, they might want to travel the world while some will want to just be at home raising grandchildren. What does your future look like in your eyes?

  • What to Know When Getting Married

Marriage is a big deal, and you should work through things before you ever get started. Remember, here is what marriage means:

      • Joining Families

You are joining your families together and it won’t be just about you.

      • Intimacy

You should have emotional and physical intimacy with your partner, and you should have less boundaries than when you dated them.

      • Values

Values are important and even if they change over time, they will be important to both of you.

      • Having Change

Change will have to happen sometimes and when it does then you need to be able to handle it together.

      • Working

Just because you get married doesn’t mean the job stops and the work. Sometimes there will be a lot of stress in the marriage and you need to be able to handle all of this even when it means having hard discussions.

No More Gaslighting in a Relationship

Gaslighting is a behavior that happens with people that are in a relationship. You can decide to leave this kind of relationship that is toxic because it is a kind of emotional abuse that people don’t often admit to. You aren’t hopeless in this situation.

You can find out if your partner will stop gaslighting you or if they will continue to destroy the relationship by trying to stay in control and have power over you. This is something that most people outside of the relationship can spot, even if you cannot. You will see that when you deal with someone that has a narcissistic personality that you can successfully leave them.

Of course, this article isn’t for you if you are being physically abused or if some kind of abuse is going on with your children. No one has the right to touch you or harm you or your family and if this is happening then you should find help right away.

Gaslighting

People can be gaslighters and it doesn’t have to be someone that you are romantic with. This can be a friend, a boss, a parent, or someone else that you know. A gaslighter can be a male or female but for the purposes of reading this article, the gaslighter will be referred to as a male and the gaslightee as the female.

This is also talking about adults that are in this kind of relationship. This is the type of relationship that is toxic and that has to have two people in it. If you have been someone that has dealt with gaslighting before, you will often feel like a victim. You might even wonder if you believe anything that you are even thinking or saying.

Gaslighting doesn’t just happen one way, when you allow this to happen in your relationship then you are telling your gaslighter that their behavior is okay.

Signs of Gaslighting

Gaslighting is something that people will use to have power in the relationship. They will do what they can to make you question if you are crazy or if you even know anything. This will cause the gaslightee to wonder if she can trust herself or even her partner.

Chances are, the gaslightee will try to get the gaslighter to see them differently but he won’t. He will make sure to make her miserable and to make her question herself over and over. She will probably be crazy about him but he will do whatever he can to make her feel bad while she is trying to get his approval.

The gaslighter will be someone that has no real sense of self and someone that sends judgements and hate into the world.

How is Gaslighting a Two-Way Street?

We live in a world where people don’t often want to tell the truth. People either don’t want to tell the truth or they are so afraid of offending someone that they refuse to admit when something is wrong. If you feel that you have found the love of your life and you’re madly in love with them, you want them to approve of you and you even look at them as a god, chances are this should be someone that you love and trust.

The truth is that you have probably been love-bombed by this person.

This relationship might have started when things were hard in your life. Maybe you have been dealing with childhood trauma and this person made you feel excited and made you feel loved. The sex might have been good and maybe even your approval was given…at first.

We can all tell when gaslighting comes when there are insults or threats but when it comes subtle, it can be hard to decipher.

When He Was Nice

You can find someone that has been a nice gaslighter. You wonder why you are feeling numb and sad all the time. He helps around the house and with the children and tells you that he loves you but you never feel that he is being honest or that he is appreciating you. You feel like he is being bossy and that he is looking at you like you aren’t good enough.

If you talk about his behavior then chances are he will tell you that you are needy or that you are someone that is controlling. He might not make you feel special and even if he gives you things like gifts or dinner, you still feel that he doesn’t care about you.

This guy might be someone that is a spiritual leader or someone that is an activist, and he believes that he is being fair, or he makes you feel that way. He goes out of his way to be overly nice because he wants you to feel like you are in the perfect relationship.

When you argue, he will let you win but you never feel respected. You will feel that you have concerns, and no one will care about it. You don’t know why you feel this way because even though he does things for you, you always feel that you owe him something. You wonder why you aren’t thankful for him, but you feel disrespected instead.

You love him and you ignore the way that he makes you feel and when you feel that you have no peace or no power, you feel like you are the wrong one. You realize that everyone likes him, and you cannot figure out why.

Romantic Gaslighter

You feel in love with the person that you thought was your soulmate. He is someone that you have always dreamed of, and you felt that from moment one that he was perfect. He would bring you flowers, apologize when he was late, kiss you like you wanted to be kissed and he would make you laugh.

Then out of nowhere, he started using drugs or drinking, he would get upset when you would complain. He would think you were unreasonable and then tell you to move on. But then he would buy you things that made you feel important and even when you had sex you would feel that it was a show. He would criticize you after doing something nice or tell you he didn’t want to have sex with you.

He takes away your sex and makes you feel alone. You know something is wrong and even though at first it seemed amazing, it gets worse by the day. You keep telling yourself that no one is perfect but you realize that he doesn’t want to please you and you wonder how you can fix yourself.

Are You Someone Easy to Gaslight?

People that have low self-esteem or don’t feel that they have any self-worth will not feel that they are good enough unless someone else loves them. This makes it easy for them to be gaslit.

A person that is a gaslighter will take all of the doubts that you have about yourself and will learn to use them against you. Even though it is never easy to build trust in yourself, you have to try and do this. You have to understand that even if gaslighting is normal to you, it is not healthy or good for you to have happening to you.

If you happen to have children with someone with this personality, chances are you will stay with them because it can be hard to support yourself and to take care of your family alone.

A gaslighter will be someone that will insult you, fight with you and do whatever they can to make you think they will leave, even though they won’t.

Stop Buying into It

A person that refuses to buy into the nonsense of a gaslighter will learn to stand up for themselves. They will learn that the gaslighter makes things up and once you learn to trust yourself enough to know that your own reality is real, you can see the relationship for what it is. If you are someone that has had to deal with a gaslighter as a child, remember that was then and now you don’t have to accept it.

Stop the Gaslighting

The only way that you can really stop a gaslighter is by leaving them. Don’t just threaten to leave but be willing to leave. By doing this, you will see that this is the only thing that will help you and will stop them from treating you this way.

You may wonder if the gaslighter is going to change and maybe they will try to change but until they admit that they have a problem, this will never happen. Once the gaslighter admits that he has a problem, then you can get couples therapy that might help. Being aware of this behavior may help to bring about change. Always get the support you need to get away from this person.

Listen for the Whispers

When people notice something, they begin to whisper about things. If you hear people whispering, they might be talking about what they are noticing such as:

  • Feeling confused often.
  • When you are trying to convince people how good of a partner he is.
  • When friends or family start talking about being concerned about the relationship.
  • If your stomach drops or you feel your chest getting tight.

Who is He Changing For?

Is he changing for you or for himself? This can be hard to see and to know for sure. But the best way to find out is to ask him to stop giving you things, asking for sex and doing nice things and see what happens next.

Does he seem hurt by your request or does he take time to find out what your needs are?

Figuring Out the Problems

Make yourself two lists, the first list should be “what does he do to gaslight me,” and the second list, “what do I do as a gaslightee.” Here are some things to ask:

  • Find out the truth: Do you accept things in your relationship that aren’t true? Do you doubt who you are and what you want?
  • Is there a power struggle between what you feel and what is reality?
  • Focusing on your feelings instead of what is right or what is wrong. When you feel like you are being attacked, stop accept it.
  • Figure out a way to exit the situation such as walking away or changing the subject.
  • Know everyone can have their own opinions: He can have an opinion, but you don’t have to accept it. You don’t have to accept any abuse or attacks.
  • Be confident in who you are: Accept that he is gaslighting you and that the views his decisions as right.

Even though your gaslighter might change, you have to figure out what you agree with and what you don’t. You don’t have to let him belittle you or treat you poorly.

Staying or Leaving

Give yourself time to decide what you want to do. Once you realize that you don’t want to accept his abuse anymore, leave. Give yourself a time limit to put up with it and to see if he is going to change or not and then if he doesn’t, leave him.

If you choose to not accept it and he changes his behavior, this is a good sign but if he doesn’t then chances are he isn’t going to change and he will continue to live in his own world. Learn to live with your head held high and demanding the respect that you deserve.

How Guys Should Handle Rejection

You know the feeling well. You see a girl and seemingly fall in love, or at least heavy-like, instantly. She could be your dream girl. After a few days of pondering the idea and maybe talking to a few friends, you decide to ask her out.

Then, she says no. It’s a crash and burn.

At this point, many questions are going through your head and you need to process her rejection. How you process it determines what you should do next. For some, no just means not right now. Girls, and women, are also prone to change their minds once they find out more about you.

What Did She Say?

Most women will give you some sort of answer with the rejection. They do this to let you know if you stand a chance or not, although some give excuses just to be polite even when they aren’t interested.

Standard answers are “I already have a date,” “I’m busy that night,” and “I have plans.” All of those are nice ways of saying they aren’t interested. A girl who isn’t interested but just busy will follow up their excuse with “but I have next Saturday free” or “maybe some other time.”

Other responses could be things like “I don’t think it would work out between us,” “I’m sorry, I’m not interested,” or even the high school cackle of “really? why would I go out with you?”

While some of these are blunt, even rude, the girl who says these things wants to make it clear she is not interested.

Even beyond that, there could be an underlying reason for her rejection and it has nothing to do with you or your worthiness.

It’s a bad time.

Some people have bad days and this could affect their answers. A girl who was just embarrassed in a class by a teacher or professor, had a fight with her parents, or a career girl with an impossible schedule could react rudely.

She’s in a relationship.

Some guys mistake chemistry for an invitation to ask a girl out. Girls may unknowingly produce vibes even when they are in another relationship or you could have misread them. Maybe she asked for help from you and you took that wrongly. In any case, she’s unavailable at the moment.

She’s shy.

Some girls, and even women, are unconfident or shy so they say no. Some, especially those who have been hurt before, question the motives of any guy asking them out so they say no.

She’s not over her last boyfriend.

Girls take a while to get over a breakup and won’t date right away. They need time to process what went wrong, whether they are to blame and to build up their confidence again. The good news is most will tell you they aren’t ready when you ask them out so you can try again later.

She doesn’t want to date now.

Some women and girls decide to take a break from dating at times. It could be they want to reset their priorities, focus on their studies or career, or maybe they are just tired of the whole dating scene. There are times when women want to focus on themselves and deal with their issues and dating isn’t a part of that.

They want friendship.

Guys hate the friend zone but some fall into it anyway. There are just some guys that girls will love dearly as a friend but nothing more. This could be the case if you have been close to her for some time without going out.

She’s just not into you.

Girls typically won’t go out with a guy they feel they have no chemistry with. They have an image of the “perfect guy” in their head and you just aren’t it. This can change, so be around but not hovering.

How to Handle the Situation

You don’t understand her rejection and your pride is hurt. Accept that. Rejection hurts. However, it doesn’t make you any less worthy of her or anyone else. You are a good person and are lovable. It just might not be her.

Don’t dwell on her answer. If you have questions, ask them while she is rejecting you not after you walk away. For instance, if she says “You’re just not my type,” ask her what her type is. When she answers, just say “good to know” and walk away.

Don’t stalk her, talk about her with friends, or continue to try to convince her to go out. That makes you look desperate and even creepy. Maintain your current place in her life, whatever that is, and don’t seek more.

Move on with your life while you wait out the situation to see if she and her boyfriend break up, her feelings change, or the situation changes. Go out with your friends. Even go out with other people. Live your life.

Here’s a secret about girls and women. They like what they can’t have. Even those who told you they weren’t interested in you will take second notice when they see that you aren’t pining for them.

There’s another tip that guys should know. Women and girls are drawn to confidence more than anything else. Moving on while keeping the door open shows confidence and they will start paying attention. That will help you later on when you may want to try to ask them out again.

Just make sure it’s not too soon. Let her simmer for a while. She may need time to get her own life in order or get out of a relationship. Maintain your cool until then. Be nice and friendly but not desperate.

Something to remember is there are lots of girls out there. She isn’t the only one, even though you may think that she is right now. Even if it doesn’t ever work out with this girl, it will work out with someone. Just give it time.

How to Build a Serious Relationship

When you talk about a serious relationship, most people know what this means. It means no more dating here and there and becoming more serious. If you are wanting to have a serious relationship, this can be one that is challenging and has many highs and lows.

When understanding a serious relationship, this means that you are fully committed to your partner and that you do not lie or betray them. You put the love that you have for your partner first and you decide you are going to stay together forever. This means that you are no longer in the honeymoon phase and that you know exactly what you are in for.

Relationships that go past the honeymoon stage are ones that are much stronger and more stable than others. This means you are able to grow together and to love each other in a bigger way.

Making the Relationship Serious

You need to make sure that you are learning as you grow in your relationship. This doesn’t mean you just go from dating to committed but there are things you need to understand such as:

  • You and your partner need to be committed and ready. This means you have to discuss this and make sure you are both on the same page.
  • You choose to be with just each other. Being serious means, you are not going out to find someone to sleep with and you are together with just each other.
  • You work and grow together. This means that when there are problems, you work through them, and you deal with them.
  • You both have to show that there is more than care in the relationship. You have to show who you are and show even the bad things about yourself. We all have flaws, but they need to come out.
  • Both of you have to be open to your emotions and you have to learn to communicate and listen to each other. You cannot hide things and you must learn to be vulnerable around one another.
  • Trust is the utmost importance. You have to trust each other when in the home or out of the home.

When to Know the Relationship is Serious

You can know that the relationship is serious when there is more than just infatuation. When you have built a foundation that brings peace and happiness, this can mean your relationship is more serious. Here are some ways to know:

  • Your partner becomes another part of you. This means that they know what you are going to say and what you feel. They are always there for you no matter what. You don’t even think of them as a boyfriend or girlfriend but as someone you have to have with you and that you love, someone you can always believe in. You will feel like you can’t live without them.
  • You and your partner will be telepathic. This means you will know what the other is going to say and you will finish each other’s sentences. You might not know what to make for dinner, but your partner and you will say at the same time the perfect choice. You are connected in an emotional and spiritual way.
  • You both will miss each other when you aren’t together. Even though you will both need space, when the space is there, you will miss each other the whole time. You will want to tell your partner everything and you will love to share every part of your life.
  • Your partner and you will be comfortable around each other. You will feel good in your joggers and in your dress. You will be great naked and when you are on the toilet. No matter what, you will feel comfortable and will not worry about what they think about you.
  • This is the part of the relationship where you and your partner become family. You welcome their family into your life, and they welcome yours. You go to dinners together and you talk to each other’s parents like you have known them forever. You stay at each other’s homes, and you even keep your toothbrush there.
  • Even if you argue, it isn’t about drama. You learn to argue but come to a conclusion about what is going on. You face conflicts head on and you deal with them.

Relationship VS Serious Relationship

A relationship just means that there is someone new in your life and you enjoy being around them. This can be during the honeymoon period where you are getting to know each other. Chances are you will lust for this new person, and you will love to be together.

But, when the relationship begins to get serious, you will be comfortable just hanging out in your pajamas or you will want to stay in with them just to read a book. There will be times where you are around each other but you aren’t even saying anything. This is a time when the relationship becomes exclusive, and you are only about each other.

Things to Ask Before Committing

Here are some things you need to ask yourself before you make a commitment:

  • Do I see myself with this person in the future?
  • Is family or my job more important?
  • What does my financial situation look like?
  • Is my relationship important?
  • Who are the people that are most important to me?
  • Do I want to have kids someday?
  • Do I like being with my family?
  • Am I satisfied with my sex life?
  • Do I trust my partner fully?
  • Do I believe in gender roles?
  • Do I value time with my partner and time alone?
  • What do I believe about infidelity?
  • Is flirting cheating?
  • What do I like most about my partner?
  • Are me and my partner soulmates?
  • Who should make the most serious decisions?
  • Do I need boundaries in my relationship?
  • Would my partner give up things for me?
  • What makes me aggravated in my relationship?

Final Thoughts

Maybe you are in a serious relationship and maybe you are thinking about getting into one. Make sure that you are really in love and that you share things like common goals and values. When you are ready to move to the serious side, remember that the honeymoon phase is different than real life. A serious relationship will always be a winning relationship.

What Is a Karmic Number?

Your karmic number will reveal a lot about you. It will show you what karma you are working on and situations that you never thought you could fix. Your karmic number will make sense to you once you realize what it is.

It will be helpful for you to know what you can expect in life and what is going on. To understand your karmic number, you have to kind the month you were born.

Getting Your Karmic Number

You might think that your karmic number is a random number, but the truth is that this is a number that you are given when you get into the womb. Just like your name is chosen for you, your karmic number is chosen by the universe.

Your name will help you to understand your karmic number and here is how to find it:

First

Write out your full name just like it is on your birth certificate. Use the name that your parents gave you.

Second

Use the numerology chart to find out the corresponding numbers to the letters that are in your full name.

Lastly

Write down any numbers between 1 and 9 that are not in your name.

Once you do this, you will find your karmic number. Karma is sometimes seen as a bad thing, but it is not good or bad. It is what you have put out into the universe and what is going to come back to you.

Karma will come by how people live rather good or bad and their karma will come back in the same.

Karmic Number Meaning

One you get your karmic number; you can figure out what it means:

Number 1

This number means that you are confident, and you have strong willpower. You are often in situations where you have to stand up for yourself and you are not afraid to do that. You are very successful in life.

Number 2

This is when you are able to discern, and you can work well in a team.

Number 3

This number means you are demanding, and you criticize too much. You need to stop putting yourself and others down.

Learn to be more creative and do what you can to motivate instead of criticizing.

Number 4

This is your inner self, and you have a purpose in your life. Once you know what you want, you will take action to make it happen. Look at what you want and find out what action you need to take.

Number 5

This number means you have opportunities coming to you. Do not be afraid to trust yourself and be adventurous.

Number 6

This means you fear being committed. You have a hard time being in relationships and once you start to trust yourself, you will see people love and accept you.

Number 7

This is a number that means you have talents, and you need to use them. You need to trust in who you are and share your goodness with others.

Number 8

This is a lesson on life and money. You need to find the financial resources that you need to better your life.

Have better relationships with people and you will be more successful.

Number 9

This means you are compassionate and giving to others. You love people and you are going to compromise to help others, but you will never compromise your giftings.

You have so much compassion to offer the world.

How to Know Someone Is Thinking About You

You can know if someone is thinking of you and likes you. There are things that the universe will show you that will help you to know if someone is thinking about you such as you might start sneezing a lot or you might hiccup, or your emotions might change out of nowhere.

Maybe you just had a thought that something was going to happen or that someone was thinking about you because you can almost read their mind. You may even be connected to someone so deeply that you feel like you read their mind and you say things at the same time or sing the same songs.

Things like this might happen to you often and it is one way that you can know that you have such a deep connection that you know someone is thinking about you. Sometimes people share a telepathic connection, and this is a bond that people cannot see but you can definitely feel it.

When Someone Thinks of You

You can feel when someone is thinking about you because of the vibes that they send out to the universe. These vibrations will come to you, and they will change how you are feeling for no real explained reason. When you feel sad or angry and out of nowhere you become happy, chances are someone is thinking of you.

You have interactions with people beyond just the physical and there is an energy that you can share with others so that you can know when they are thinking of you. This is part of what your subconscious mind does.

You can pick up the vibes that other people send out in your subconscious mind. It might be hard to explain but even if you cannot explain it, it is real.

No matter what kind of signals that you pick up from other people, these things are vibes that you might not really understand or be aware of.

Look at things from a different viewpoint. Have you ever felt like you were getting sick, and you give into it and imagine yourself being sick and then you actually get sick. This happens because you already gave into the sickness and your subconscious mind controlled how you felt.

When you get these signals that you cannot touch and you allow them to come to you, they will eventually take a physical form in your life.

The same type of situation can happen when someone has you in their thoughts. You will be able to know these thoughts and to feel them because of your subconscious thinking.

These thoughts can turn into vibes, and they will come to you in a physical way when someone thinks about you.

How to Know if Someone Thinks Sexually Towards You

You can tell that someone is thinking sexually towards you because of their sexual energy. This will show through their body language and their thoughts, and their mannerisms will come towards you. Even if you live far away, it will be like you run into them out of nowhere and for no real reason.

This can happen over and over again and then you will see that you are bumping into the same person over and over. The odds of that are low but it is still happening, even if they live far away from you. The universe will get you together with this person.

Then, out of nowhere, you will not be able to stop thinking of them and chances are that they will text you or get ahold of you somehow because they will feel that attraction.

Getting Feely with You

Maybe you bump into someone, and they hug or kiss you on the cheek. This can be an energy that you feel that is strong. This can show you that someone is thinking of you sexually. You will know that someone is interested in you if they change how they look for you.

When someone is attracted to you, they will always try to look their best so that you will pay attention to them, and you will like how they look. They will do what they can to make you attracted to them and to look best for you.

They know that if you are attracted to them then you will listen to your intuition and pick up their sexual energy. Remember, your intuition never lies to you and if there is a strong sexual energy, listen to what your intuition is telling you.

Stop Thinking About Them

You will have a hard time stopping yourself from thinking about someone that is always thinking about you. This does not always happen, but the universe will help to get someone on your mind that is all about you. This could be a friend or a loved one or even a stranger.

When you have a hard time stopping yourself from thinking about someone, it can mean you are connected to them in a psychic way. You will sense them because of your psychic powers.

If you cannot stop thinking of someone, chances are that they are thinking about you. You might wonder why but you may find out that they are thinking of you because they like you.

How to Stop Thinking of Someone

When you cannot get someone off your mind it can make you tired and drained. If you have to think of someone constantly, it can affect your mental health. You will find that you cannot focus on anything but them.

This can be your partner, or this can be someone else in your life. No matter what happens or how weird this sounds, if you want to stop thinking about someone, you have to decide to think about something else such as your work, a hobby, your job, or something else.

You are in control of your thoughts, and you need to change your thinking to things that you love to do. When you cannot stop thinking about someone, you need to take control of your thoughts. Find people to talk to and focus on them instead of the person on your mind.

How Do You Know if He is Thinking of You?

You don’t have to look at your horoscope to find out if he is thinking of you. If he is listening to you and wants to know everything that there is to know about you then chances are that he is thinking of you.

You can know that someone is thinking of you by noticing these signs:

  • He talks about things that remind him of you.
  • He is happy when you are around.
  • He knows all things about you.
  • He puts effort to make you smile.
  • He tells you he is thinking of you.

All of these things can show you that someone is thinking of you. If he wasn’t thinking of you then he wouldn’t do these things for you nor would he ask you questions.

If you sends you messages or tells you that he is thinking of you then he is.

Things Your Body Will Show You When Someone is Thinking of You

Here are some things that can happen to your body if someone is thinking of you:

  • Getting goosebumps or the hair on your arms standing up.
  • Ears getting hot.
  • Your mood changing.

Getting hiccups out of nowhere can mean someone is thinking of you. If you have negative feelings and then out of nowhere you get happy, this can mean someone is thinking of you.

If you have lost someone that you loved and you find a white feather, this can be another sign someone is thinking of you.

You might wonder if any of this is real, but it is up to you to believe it.

Signs Someone Is Thinking of You

Your body will react in certain ways that you might not even notice when someone is thinking of you. You might find that out of nowhere you begin to smile. This can happen because you are trying to make someone have a better day or because you are thinking of someone you love.

You may not even realize you are smiling. This happens because your brain gets a signal that you are happy, and it lets you feel loved. If someone likes you and is thinking about you, you will feel it.

Then, when you see that person, you will smile and feel happy because they are by you. When you look at this person, you will be more than nice smiling, but you will feel that you are excited and happy and that is what is bringing on the smile.

The way that you smile will show you that someone is on your mind.

Mood Changes

If this has happened to you and you didn’t know why, chances are that you went from a negative to a positive mood. This can happen because you feel that someone is thinking of you, and it makes you feel good.

When this happens, you might have found that you were depressed and feeling sad but then out of nowhere you began to feel happy and at peace. This can be the Law of Attraction showing you that someone is thinking of you.

Your subconscious can tell you that someone is thinking of you and that their energy is coming to you and changing your mood.

Bringing You Together

Do you ever wonder why people love each other or how they fall in love? Your subconscious will let you know when someone likes you because of the vibrations that they send out. They might touch you or smile at you but sometimes this can happen even when they aren’t around.

When people want to be in love, they will show the other person this. They want to be with someone that will make them feel good and will make them feel whole.

There are spiritual messages that someone that likes you will send you and this is as real as a physical sign. But you will eventually meet this person and you might even get with them. This could be someone that you have seen before over and over, but you never realized that you had a connection. The connection that you have though will bring you closer to that person.

Eye Movements

You may have allergies, or an eye condition and it can cause you to have eye movements, but if you don’t, an eye twitch can mean someone is thinking of you.

But just because someone is thinking of you doesn’t mean that they like you and it can mean that they are actually talking bad about you.

You can tell if someone is being positive about you because if your left eye is itching or twitching then it is a positive thing but if it is your right eye, it is negative, if you are a woman. If you are a man, it goes the other way.

Feeling Tense

One thing about the human body is that your mind can set boundaries for you that you don’t even realize. How many times have you gotten an idea and then you figure out how to solve it? This can happen to you when you aren’t sure what to eat or if you aren’t sure what to do. Your body will become tense, and this happens because your mind is trying to get you to pay attention to what is going on.

If someone is talking bad about you, you can feel this in your mind. Your body will become tense and maybe you will even blush. This can be their negative energy coming to you.

Hiccupping is another sign that someone is complaining about you. This means that they are trying to create drama with you, and this can cause you to have negative energies.

Someone might even complain about you just to feel better about themselves. If you hiccup only when you are around a certain person, this can mean they are the one that is always complaining about you.

No one can really tell you why things go like this, but you can know that something is changing in your life and showing you that someone is thinking of you.

Your subconscious mind will give you signs that can affect your physical body and can show you that it is happening all around you.

Good Energy

Your mind can also tell you when someone is giving you good vibes, even if they live far away. Your mind can feel a connection with someone no matter where they live. If you are with someone, you can know that your partner is thinking about you.

Sometimes the feelings of thinking about you can come as a feeling of being touched or as a feeling of good energy flowing through you. If you are feeling down or depressed and out of nowhere your energy gets happy and strong, this is a sign someone is sending you positive thoughts.

When your ears are burning, someone might be thinking good things about you. This can be warm feelings and is why your ears are feeling warm.

One sign that someone has a crush on you is that you sneeze a sneeze so loud that it comes out of nowhere and shakes your whole body. This can happen no matter where you are and if there is no dust around you. This can mean someone really misses you and wants to be with you.

Conclusion

Your mind and your soul are connected in so many ways and they can help you to understand things going on around you. You can take time to think about how much the universe wants to show you things inside of yourself.

When you have any of these signs above, chances are that someone is thinking of you in a good or a bad way. Pay attention to the signs and what they are trying to show you and tell you.

How to Move on After a Relationship

Being rejected is one of the hardest things that can happen to someone, and this is especially true if you loved that person that rejected you.

Everyone will end up being rejected at some point in time but no matter how many times someone gets rejected, it still hurts. Sometimes when you get rejected, you are completely blown away by it. You might think that you and your date had amazing times together and then out of nowhere, he rejects you.

Knowing He Doesn’t Love You

The hardest part of rejection is that you have to stop making excuses for the person that is hurting you. You have to stop thinking that he loves you because he doesn’t.

No matter how much fun you had together and how much you think he is the right person for you, that was all just on your end and he didn’t or doesn’t feel the same.

If someone chooses not to love you, it doesn’t matter how good the relationship looks or feels, he is not going to love you. You have to accept that he doesn’t want you and even when your brain tries to tell you how perfect things are, you have to tell your brain to get over it.

Cut Him Out

Stop allowing him to be in your life. Cut him out of your life even when it is hard. When you love someone, it hurts to get rid of them but if you want to be happy and you want to be healthy, you need to get him out of your life.

You need to block his phone number and get him off of your social media. You need to do your life without him.

Chances are he will not like that you are getting him out of your life, but you need to be strong, and you need to look at your future and your heart.

At some point in your life, you might be able to be friends with this person, but right now, the love that you feel for him is too much and you need to move on since he no longer loves you.

Live Without Him

You can live your life without a man. You don’t need someone in your life, especially while you are healing.

If you were really in love with that guy, then the relationship must have felt strong. Falling in love can be easy and falling in love is fast but falling out of love can take a long time. Take the time that you need but do it on your own. Do not depend on another guy to take his place.

Spend time with people that love you and do things that you used to love to do. Find hobbies that are fun and learn to laugh, a lot.

Go out with your family and friends and people that love you like you love them. No matter how much you miss your relationship, do things that are about you and not about how much you loved him.

Find a Rebound

When you have given yourself time to heal, you can find someone new. Chances are there will be people that already have crossed your mind.

Once you feel better, go for a rebound. You don’t have to force yourself to move on, but you can go out and have fun.

Even if you are confident, you are taking a chance of getting dumped again but don’t let that hold you back. Keep your self-esteem strong and remember that you are worth it.

Better Off Alone

No matter what you think or how alone you feel, know that you are better off alone than with someone that doesn’t love you.

Your mind made you think that what you had was love but that doesn’t mean that it was true love. Get over your feelings of your breakup and accept the fact that he didn’t love you.

It is better to have someone in your life that is new or to not have someone in your life at all than to be with someone that doesn’t love you the way that you deserve to be loved.

What to Do If You Will Never Find True Love?

Love is something that isn’t easy, but it is what almost everyone wants. You may find love when you don’t even expect it, or chances are that you may never find real love. This happens to so many people, but they do have love with their family and friends.

Maybe you wonder why you haven’t been able to find real love. You wonder why you can’t have what other people have. Sometimes this happens because we block out our desires and we cannot move past what happened before.

What is Real Love?

Real love is when you are able to connect with a person both physically and emotionally. It is someone that loves you and wants to know all about you and loves your faults.

Being single and being with someone both takes a lot of work. If you are looking for love, you need to know these things:

  • Relationships are hard work.
  • You cannot change someone.
  • Someone cannot be fixed by you.
  • It is worse to be in a bad relationship than to be single.
  • Being single doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.
  • Being single can help you to grow.

Signs You Will Never Find Real Love

One of the biggest signs that you will not find real love is that you are trying to make someone be who you want them to be.

This can never happen, and it causes things to be harder for you. Love is not real when you have to force someone to be with you or force them to change. You will be let down every time you do this.

Rushing Things

You need to make sure that you aren’t rushing yourself into love if you aren’t ready for it. Do not be pressured to be with someone and you are fine being single.

Rushing yourself is not romance and you need to make sure you have the feelings and that you let love come on its own time.

Your Own Needs

There is nothing wrong with meeting your needs and giving yourself what you want and need in life. But if you find that you are only caring about your needs, you aren’t ready for love.

Men and women want different things when they get together, and men like to be heroes. They want to be with someone that will respect them and be with them and they want someone that they can love and protect.

Men want to be a hero every day, and they will want to feel like they are needed. If your needs are all met, how will someone come and meet your needs for you?

Love Isn’t Number 1

If you aren’t ready for love, then you won’t make it a priority. This means that you are not past your breakup from before or that you aren’t ready. You might have your own ideas right now.

No Room for Romance

If you don’t have time to have romance, you won’t get it. People get so busy with their work and their families that they forget to pursue love.

You Hide

Maybe you hide from love or you are someone that doesn’t like to leave the house. You will have a hard time finding love in your bedroom.

Maybe you aren’t going out any and you are staying home. If this is happening, you will not meet someone or find true love.

Looking for Something Hidden

One of the hardest things about love is that we have expectations that we want in someone. We don’t take a little and give a little, but we want just what we want.

You will never find true love if you are looking for exactly what you want without giving in a little. You need to find someone you are attracted to and find someone with the same values and interests and go from there.

Perfect People

You think that you will find someone that is perfect, but you forget that there are no perfect people. You can guarantee that you will be with someone that has bad habits, disagreements and maybe even worse.

Do not let the idea of perfection hold you back form finding love. You need to find men you are attracted to and then move forward.

You are Behind

Some people do not do online dating apps, and this can make them behind in the dating scene. Some people want to just run into someone they like, and this doesn’t always happen.

You will need to get up to date with technology and understand that you might have to meet that special someone online.

Intimidating

Maybe you are intimidating because you are smart and good looking. This can make it hard for someone to find you and to be around you.

Your body language might make people feel that you are not on the market.

Rare Matches

Some people have a hard time accepting that finding the perfect match is hard or even impossible. You need to let love takes over and not have such high expectations.

Trying Too Hard

You might date too many people and you aren’t giving yourself enough time to get to know one person. You need to slow down and not exhaust yourself in dating.

Date different people but find out if you are compatible with them before you keep moving on. Stop love bombing which is going with all these short-term relationships. This will stop a real connection from happening.

Olympian Standards

You might want to have standards that are so high that you cannot meet someone. You cannot expect to meet a Greek god or goddess. You need to not have such high expectations and let people show you who they are.

Like someone’s eyes or hair and be amazed with the things that are inside more.

All or Nothing

Maybe you are someone that wants all of the things that you want, or you just would rather be single.  If this happens, you might not find someone because you will not get everything you want when you want it.

There should be things that you choose to not give up on such as your values and morals, but other things can work out.

Love Shy

If you have had broken relationships or grew up in a broken home, you might be afraid of love. This means that you are afraid that things will go badly before you give them a chance.

Maybe you don’t want to risk getting into relationships that will end and you don’t want to open yourself up to hurt.

Relationships can go badly, and you will never know what is going to happen until you give it a try.

Trauma from the Past

People that have had past trauma often have a hard time moving forward. They have a hard time falling in love because they haven’t gotten past the things that happened to them.

If someone is emotionally or physically abused, they might not be able to open up to love until they handle things from their past relationships.

Alone

Some people will choose to be alone over settling for what they don’t want. You should never settle but if you haven’t found love, keep trying. Go out and find out what you are attracted to and work towards it.

P Word

Some people are stuck in the idea of propinquity. This means that you will want to interact with people but when you make new connections, you think that they are someone that you want them to be when they might disappoint you.

Find people where you like to go such as the gym or the coffee shop. Keep your options open.

Past Mistakes

Some people have made mistakes over and over again and this scares them out of love. If you keep falling into the same relationship patterns, you might be afraid to keep trying to meet someone.

Get past your mistakes and do not let them hold you back from love.

Easy Going

It is hard for some people to get along with others. Some people fake their emotions and fake love. If you find that you have a hard time being with people or you are codependent on people fast, this can be a problem.

Stop being clingy and learn to have a normal relationship Being clingy brings about strong actions and it can make you feel obsessed.

Friendships

Those that have strong friendships might scare off potential partners. If you have people that you are always hanging out with, you might not be able to meet the person that you can love.

It would look strange if you were always with the same girl and if you weren’t dating her, even weirder.

Passive

People become passive when they don’t find love right away. They think that this is okay, and they expect to find love when the time is right.

Focus on being the best that you can be and learn to let the world guide you. Love may or may not come to you but if you are too passive, you can count it out.

Spontaneous

Maybe you are too spontaneous, and you aren’t going for what you want. You just hope that it will fall in your lap or that it will happen. Maybe you aren’t looking for love and you feel that if love is coming, you will find it.

You want to give and get love and if you are backwards, chances are finding love will be harder. You have to learn what other people want and need and then go for it.

Giving Up on Love

Some people have given up on love. They have been hurt or disappointed, so they just give up on it. If this, is you, you will have a hard time finding love?

You are worthy to be loved and you are needing to open up your heart and mind to this.

What to Do?

If you feel that you are not going to find love, you need to change the way that you approach it and find that you are worthy of love.

Here are some things that you can do to find love:

Hero Instinct

Understand that this is something guys want, and they want to give you. Let a guy be a hero if you are interested in him.

Be Your Best

Be the best that you can be and that is what you give others. Keep your body healthy and do the best to keep your mind, soul, and body strong.

Get Involved

Go out and meet new people and do new things. Take a class or go to the gym. You can’t meet people at home.

Trauma Help

Figure out how to get help to heal from your past trauma. Deal with anger or hurt that you have and see the positive side to what is happening in your life.

Let Magic Happen

Allow yourself to meet new people and see if there is a spark. Find what you are looking for but don’t be too picky. Don’t judge someone until you get to know them.

If nothing else, you can meet a new friend.

Say Yes

Learn to say yes to love and to do things that are new. Go out with people and have fun in your life. You might have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Up Your P

Find things that you like to do and go do it. Find people that have the same interests as you have and increase your propinquity with others.

Attract people that you like and find things that others would want to do with you. Make yourself known so that people can meet you.

Flow

Find ways that you can boost your productivity and find love. Go out and be attractive. Be happy and let people come to you.

Live your life to flow better and be authentic.

Keep Hope

Stay hopeful that you will meet someone and that you will find love. Don’t give up just because you haven’t met the perfect person yet. Keep going on your journey and be the best that you can be.

Channel Your Inner Strength

Find peace and do what you can to change yourself and the world. Do things to find love and appreciate those around you.

Give out your energy and time for others and love people with real love.

Patience

Learn to have real patience and to wait for what you want. Keep knowing that you can find love and that love will come to you.

Patience doesn’t mean you are giving up; it means that you will meet someone when the time is right.

Be Mysterious

Let love be a mysterious thing to you. Let things about love come true to you and learn to notice the good thing about yourself.

Be trusting of others and find out who they are.

Don’t Settle

Make sure that you are finding people you want to be with and don’t settle in your life. Find people that are good and that will give you happiness that you are looking for.

You would be better off alone than to settle but don’t do either. Find true love and choose relationships because you want to be in them and not because you are afraid of being alone.

Networking

Find people that know people and hook up with them. Go out with different people and be positive. Find people that fit with you and what you like.

Forgive

Forgive yourself and others for hurting you. If you have things that are holding you back, open up your heart and your life to forgive them. Embrace forgiveness and see that you can get over betrayal and hurt.

Thing About Love

The more that you chase after love, the more it seems to go away. But you cannot just wait for someone to find you. Go out and find out how to be the best that you can be, work on yourself and let love find you.

Think of love and how important it can be in your life. Love can change who you are and your future. Never give up and think you are unworthy of love, you are.

When Casual Sex Turns Emotional

Casual sex is defined differently for different people, but it generally means no expectation of exclusivity and no strings attached. There is even a term for this form of relationship known as Ethical Non-Monogamy of ENM. This may imply sex with someone you know or a quick one night stand, but for this article casual sex is defined as consensual sex outside a marriage or romantic relationship.

Sex can be a powerful experience that creates emotional responses that are unexpected. So what can be done if a casual sex relationship begins to feel like more? The answer is not straightforward, even though we may hope otherwise. While sex without strings attached can be fun, it can also be extremely complicated. If you do develop feelings, do not beat yourself up. Women are biologically wired to feel some attachment to their partners, so catching feelings is not unexpected. The bonding hormone oxytocin allows us to feel some attachment to your sexual partner and the more you see each other, the stronger this bond grows. This is why it is so important to make sure you are on the same page from the start. This is especially important if it is sex with an ex or friends with benefits type thing. Both sides should discuss expectations up front. Make sure you can both separate physical closeness from emotional closeness and decide whether you are open to a relationship later on. If only one person is open then make a plan or forget about a no strings relationship all together.

Perhaps you have done all this and agreed a no strings attached relationship is fine, but you now have feelings. Is it fair to hold this information back from your partner and continue on or should you admit the truth and hope they feel the same? Honesty is the key in all relationships, but especially in an ENM one. Holding back that you are having feelings can be bad for your emotional and mental health. If you find yourself having serious feelings, take a few steps back and talk to them with phrases like, “You should know I’m really starting to like you, so we need to slow things down.” This demonstrates your feelings and allows them to share as well without the pressure.

Taking Things Further

If you are considering taking things to the next level and into possible relationship territory, there are a few things to consider.

  • Mutual Interests – Focus on their words and actions. Do you share common interests other than bedroom activities? Does the other person talk to you during the day or just at night for a booty call? Base your decision to take things deeper on the answers.
  • Plan a Day Out – If you are trying to decide if the other person is truly relationship material, then plan a day out together. Keep things semi-casual, but also an activity that is date-like such as a party, a museum, or a movie. Try an activity in the real world and outside the bedroom.
  • Express Yourself – If you suspect your partner is having feelings as well, open up and tell them how you feel. Keep it low key so you can continue to talk freely because ultimatums will backfire.

Remember that no relationship is one size fits all. Whether you are in a no strings attached relationship or one where you are joined at the hip, be true to your needs and yourself. Sex, love, and relationships mean different things to different people, so figure out what works for both of you. As long as communication stays open and clear, then that is enough.

What to Do if Your Ex Keeps Texting You

Have you recently broken up with your ex but then out of nowhere they begin to text you? Maybe you want to respond but then you think of all of the good reasons why you broke up in the first place. You might wonder, “should I be talking to my ex?” Here are some ways to handle this if it is happening to you.

Should I Text Them Back?

Ignoring people is not nice but you need to figure out why your ex is trying to talk to you and not forget why you broke up in the first place.

If you have been friendly with each other and you have talked to them regularly then it is fine to text them back. People sometimes break up and choose to stay friends and if you are friends, it is okay that you text them back to see what is going on in their world.

When you choose to stay friends, make sure that your conversations are friendly and not romantic or sexual. You have to decide if you are going to text them back and remember that there is a difference talking to a friend than there is a romantic partner.

Being with someone means that you are making weekend plans, or you are trying to make a way to see each other but as an ex, the texting should never be like sexting.

On the other hand, though, if you and your ex are not being friends then you should not have any reason to text them back if they text you.

Abusive Texting

If your ex has been abusing you mentally, physically, sexually, or even emotionally, you need to stay away from them. You need to stay out of abusive relationships and make sure that you are out of it forever. An abusive ex that begins to text you is one that is wanting to abuse you even more and you need to even go as far as to block them.

When your ex that was abusive starts texting you, chances are that they want to get back with you. This is a situation that you need to avoid. No matter how sorry they say they are or how much they say that they have changed, an abuser will often go back to abusing.

Now, if your ex went through significant counseling and different treatments to stop abusing and they text you, you might want to read what they have said but you still probably need to keep them out of your life.

If you have a child together, this can be a different situation and you will need to talk to your ex about visitation or about a connection with your child. If the conversation has to go back and forth or if he is trying to talk about other things, he probably is trying to get back together, and you need to be strong and keep your head straight.

It is often best to get someone to come and be a mediator when you have a child together. This will help you to not have to have much contact with your ex and they can help you to know issues with meeting times or other things such as:

  • If you have a sick child.
  • If your child misbehaved.
  • If homework has to be completed.
  • If a time to meet has to be changed.

Ex Text to Get Back Together

If you and your ex have started texting back and forth and they tell you that they miss you, here are some things you need to consider before you choose to have real conversations:

  • Why did you break up?
  • Was someone in the relationship unfaithful to the other?
  • Did they want kids, and you didn’t or vice versa?
  • Did you want to get married and they didn’t or vice versa?
  • Was there things outside of the relationship that caused it to be hard to stay together?

There can be many reasons that people do not stay together, and the question is what caused the relationship to fail and why. You need to make sure that both of you are happy.

Communicating with your ex in text or even on phone calls can be a place that makes you or your ex vulnerable. They might miss you if you were friends at first and maybe they miss you just like you miss them. Your ex might want to see if you have met someone new and moved on or maybe they are just looking for a way to close this part of their life.

If your ex has been drinking, they might be wanting you to come over for a booty call and it is best for you to ignore this kind of text and not to answer till the next day if ever.

Whatever you choose, you need to know what you want out of this relationship before you ever decide to talk to them. Then, you need to make sure that you know what their intentions are so that you don’t get hurt along the way.

Mixed Signals

If you and your ex have been texting b ack and forth you need to be straight with what you want. You can respond to the text that they send you but make sure that you are not leading them on or giving them mixed signals. If you are in a relationship with someone new, tell them.

You never want to lead on your ex and make them think that you are going to get back together. If they want to make up and they still want to be with you, but you do not want that, you need to stop texting them right away.

If your ex tells you that they miss you or they missed seeing your smile, you need to make sure that you tell them that you are with someone and that you have moved on.

When your ex-texts you and tells you that they heard “our” song on the radio, you need to stop the conversation immediately. It shows your ex is thinking about you and wants to get back together. If you don’t want this, you need to tell them that the relationship is over and that you have moved on and that they also need to move on.

If your ex tells you that they made a mistake breaking up with you then you need to listen to their regrets but if you have moved on, you need to talk about the reasons that you broke up and then hang up after a brief discussion.

Therapy and Breaking Up

Most people can break up with someone and move on with their life after a short while. If you feel that you are not able to move on and you are dealing with depression or hard emotions, you might want to find a therapist or a counselor to talk to.

When you break up with someone, it will be hard, but it is something that you can work through. Breaking up is often times the result of unhappiness and you need to remember why you broke up in the first place and always stand your ground.