People probably hear the phrase to “love yourself first” or that “you must first love yourself before you can love others.” However, most people don’t understand what that means. Some equate self-love with being selfish and everyone knows selfishness is a downfall to relationships and happiness.
It is true that people need to learn how to love themselves as it is a huge tool for success. The problem is most people have established blocks to doing that without even realizing it. The first thing you have to do is identify these blocks and remove them.
There are three major areas where there are blocks to loving yourself. The first is being around toxic people. Many of us have keep toxic people in our lives simply because we don’t know any differently. We think because they are a co-worker or a family member that we must endure. That isn’t true.
One way to start on your self-love journey is to set healthy boundaries. These boundaries establish to others how you expect to be treated. Setting boundaries shows yourself that you deserve to be treated a certain way and shouldn’t settle for less.
This can be really helpful during family gatherings, particularly around the holidays. Many people stress themselves out trying to meet everyone else’s demands without expressing any of their own needs. This can result in misery, depression and a loathing of the holidays when it should be a joyous time.
People should learn that sometimes it is okay to tell family members no, even during the holidays. You don’t have to go to someone’s home if they always treat your poorly. You don’t have to remain quiet if the family event isn’t suitable to your schedule. Your life, schedule and being deserves respect.
A second obstacle in many people’s lives is always believing what others tell them about themselves. If someone says something enough times, we tend to think it’s true. It may not be. People should take evaluations based on the person giving them, their motivation for giving them and actual fact. Step away from the situation to evaluate criticisms objectively. If they have no truth or if the person wasn’t trying to be helpful, dismiss it. Be open to receiving truth and apply it to your life. Changing things are a positive thing, but you must balance it with you are are.
The third obstacle people cope with is forgiving yourself. We all have regrets but many people have trouble letting go and moving on. Hanging onto past mistakes can affect your future because you never allow yourself the opportunity to learn from your past and apply lessons to your future.
How Loving Yourself Affects Your Life
Loving yourself can offer immediate positive results in your life. Learning to love yourself makes you happier and that attracts others. It is a known fact that people are automatically attracted to happy people. This attraction brings more opportunities for love, money, and career.
Producing Self Love
Producing self love takes time but it starts with your mind. A place to start is in your brain. It is proven that 95 percent of all behavior is ruled by what you think. People tend to act out of their mindset and that can produce either positive or negative results.
You can retrain your brain using a couple of methods. One is to close your eyes and take time to talk love to yourself. This can be expressing all your positive qualities, talents or what’s in the deepest part of your soul. Repeating this often will, just like the toxic talk, eventually result in your truly believing it. Then, you will act on it.
Another brain exercise is to imagine your life as you want it. Visulize every detail. Once you visualize it, you will start acting in a way to manifest it.
Making these small changes in your life will bring more self love into your world on a daily life. They will build upon each other once you implement them on a regular basis.